Day#198: The Great Clothing Purge of 2016

So, This weekend I decided to finally do something that I'd been meaning to for awhile now... A clothing Purge! As i've lost weight, less and less of my clothing fits me. I've had to come to realization that I had to sift through everything that I own and weed out all the things I can't actually wear anymore! It's quite a freeing feeling really - pun intended.

I literally went through every single item and tried them on. Which resulted in emptying out 2/3 of my closet. BO-YEAH! I can't believe it. It feels sad but happy at the same time. Particularly since the clothing i've been purging are kinda sentimental. About two years ago I gave myself permission to enjoy clothing, to enjoy how I look and to actually buy clothes that fit and feel good - despite my weight.

It was a huge step for me!

Growing up, I developed a very negative attitude toward clothes and my body image. My mom would try out of the best intentions to encourage me and my sisters to loose weight by saying things like "when you loose some weight, we'll buy you some cute new clothes!" I know she meant well, trying to encourage us. I, like the teen I was - took it as a hit to my self esteem. I wasn't worth having cute clothes. I wasn't pretty enough, wasn't thin enough to be worth spending money on new clothing.

So... being an adult and making my own money; I gave myself permission to finally treat myself. To get clothing that I liked, that was cute, that wasn't always cheep just get by; and it felt good! I know how messed up and twisted my self worth was around my weight. I'm so happy to realize how much i've grown, how good I feel about my body. It's fabulous at every stage of this journey. I wish my mom was still around to see me finally choose to do this weight loss thing for ME! I know she's still with me supporting me as I work on my happiness - nobody wanted me to be happy like she did. Even if she didn't say it the way I needed to hear it as a teenager, but that's every parent's struggle I imagine. :)

Now I give myself permission. Permission to be happy. Permission to buy nice clothes and not be ashamed to grow or shrink out of them. Permission to realize that i'm worth nice things. Permission to forgive my mom for the hard feelings I harbored toward her and my very long journey of weight struggle. I'm my own powerhouse of awesome! Nobody has the power to diminish me or build me up like I do!

Go and be awesome, don't apologize for being you. Be happy with who you are, no matter your size! I genuinely hope that for everyone, all my peeps, my sisters and friends. Nobody should feel they're self-worth depends on the scale. Even if sometimes I am sometimes a hypocrite and put too much value in the numbers on the scale... It's a hard habit to break, but I'm working on it constantly, after all it's not just a single choice, it's an every day choice to be happy and to keep trying to be happy!

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I get to rock some sweet outfits, and regardless of how much I weigh now or ever!



Like this super cute red dress!

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It's been an interesting couple of weeks, I've been trying hard to eat better and that's been such a challenge. Not only to eat more balanced but more often in smaller quantities like Tyler has challenged me. It's easier if I plan and prep. Snacks are tricky when you've got to get protein/carb/fat in each meal or snack. I've done a lot of nuts and fruit - people at work must think I never stop eating lol! It has led to some food adventures for sure!

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It's nice to get recognition for your hard work. People at work are seeing more often, saying such nice encouraging things. Even if it's in the form of shock at just how much i've lost. hahaha!

At work we have ID badges, which nobody wears like were supposed to... opps. But I was looking at mine the other day and felt super proud, I've come such a far way from where I was. The picture was taken a year ago, almost to the week.



I couldn't help but wish we could re-take these pictures. lol! nothing like seeing perspective in this journey of mine; and this is definitely one of those moments. :) Hey when I eventually leave this job I can burn it. Laughing like a mad woman and dancing around the flames! Anyone interested in coming to the badge-burning bbq? :)

Keep on swimming, just doing what I can each day. Because tackling today is far easier than thinking about a week, month, or a year down the road. Each day is a battle I can win! eventually winning the war!

Happy Labor Day!