Day#310: Holiday Happenings - A 60 lb Victory!

Thank goodness this year is almost done. I'm ready to start again, make new goals, and keep this crazy train on track. With the exit of the year approaching; I'm evaluating my goals. I originally wanted to loose 100 lbs in a year (technically that'll be on February 20th)... But I'll take my progress to date as a HUGE accomplishment.

I've lost 60 LBS! (doing a victory dance *not shown here to protect the innocent)





Obviously I don't think I'll be loosing an additional 40 lbs by the end of February, I'm being realistic. However once the holidays are out of the way and temptations are removed, things should return to their steady progress as they were before I let the holidays get in my way.

I mean... WOW, 60 lbs is a huge deal right? I still can't believe it! AHhhhhhh... oh golly.

Other things that weigh 60 lbs:

5 gallons of paint
A Boxer (dog)
Small Punching Bag
Standard leather Armchair
2 solid gold bars
10 Adult size Bowling Balls
240 sticks of butter
4 Thanksgiving Turkeys (WHAT?)
A small bag of Cement

That's crazy, and gives a cool perspective to my progress!

Comparison's are also cool...and they lend me some encouragement. Check it!


Front: 2/2, 8/2, & 12/27


Side: 2/2, 8/2, & 12/27


Arms: 8/2, & 12/27 (I'm excited to add this to the comparison shots, because I'm very proud of my progress on my arms. There's muscles in there and I'm gaining some ground on my "Relief Society Arms" Ha!)

---


Happy Holidays Everyone, and a Happy New Year! #christmassweatyselfie

Day#282: November and my "Tummy Blues"

It's been a super rough month. Its been a battle like none other. I've found very little to be optimistic about... which is a shame, shouldn't thanksgiving pie be something to be optimistic about? This time... not so much (besides I made cheesecake, way more tasty anyway!)

#sweatyselfie


Gather around children and let me tell you a tale of how my holiday went...

Made tasty food - good. Ate with family, also good. Hung out played games and enjoyed the attention of two of the worlds most adorable nephews. All was well.... or so I thought. I indulged more than usual, but still i thought, it's a holiday... my food choices weren't great but still better than they had ever been in the past. So home I went, little sister in tow.

Almost as soon as deciding to hit the hay, it began. A raging gurgling monster dug it's claws into my insides, twisted them around his talons and gave them a yank. OUCH! - I've had upset stomachs before... but nothing like this. This wasn't a tummy ache or a case of food poisoning. This was demonic possession. The food was trying to kill me!

Doubled over in pain I tried many things, tried taking a hot shower, walking, stretching, rocking back and forth and nothing helped except the very mild relief that puking would give, then back to the pain. It started in my stomach and them migrated slowly upward under my ribcage. By 4:00 and suffering this pain for almost 3 hours I shook my sister awake. "We have to go to the ER." I said.

Thus began my very first experience in the ER. That's right, took me 28 years, see how far I've come?

Checked in, and gave a variety of fluids to the cause of discovering the source of my pain. It's a strange realization that you're no longer fearful of needles because you've been poked enough times in your life that the fear has gone away. (shakes head sadly) Not that a needle was anything at the time... since demon voodoo was currently being performed inside my stomach.

They did a number of tests. Game me drugs that didn't help, and then I waited.

After hooking me up the heart monitor, they noticed that my heart rate was much lower than they would expect so they did the test with the eartchquake-mini-scratch-paper thing. Learned at least that apparently l've got a slower resting heart rate than normal people. Crazy! stupid machine would freak out any time it would dip and would manically beep until my heart rate rose a few more points to shut it up.

This went on for a while before the doctor arrived, deduced following a particularly fantastic puking session that he thinks I have Kidney Stones. So we head a bit later to get a CT. This is a tube machine where I have to hold my breath as it rotates around and takes pictures of my insides. It's like the tunnel game you play when you're a kid. The first one to loose their breath before the tunnel ends dies an early death - In the hospital you can bet I was dutiful at holding my breath all the way through the tunnel.

Wheeled back to the room to wait the results. No kidney stones. Nope, all tests normal.

At this time since the pain hasn't really gotten better, they give me a small paper cup filled with a variety of stuff I've just watched the attractive nurse guy dose into it. It's this murky milky looking thick concoction. Of corse I have to swallow it. One gulp I'm advised. (gross, it's like taking cough medicine when you're a kid, the anticipation to gulping the nasty is worse than actually doing it.)

Down the hatch it goes. My throat, my tongue and even my dangly ball (uvula) in the back of my throat all go numb. Slowly I start to feel some relief to my pain. the cocktail has numbed my insides, confused the taloned beast with it's hands in my guts... "What is this strange feeling" I imagine it saying in a deep scratchy voice.

After all this, they don't know what's wrong with me. I can't explain it... with that I'm sent home with prescriptions in hopes that they help. But when your tests come back normal... what can you say. I promise I wasn't faking it. Kjarsti will atest to it.

I have a couple theories...

1. I might be lactose intolerant to some degree... I've formed this hypothisis after my previous (albeit not so bad instances of abdominal pain) consuming of  in the form of ice-cream. I haven't had ice-cream in a long time, before February last... The only dairy i've actually had is some cheese and yogurt which hasn't ever given me this reaction. But thanksgiving dinner - which was the last thing I ate before this ER fiasco, all had elements of dairy in it, cream cheese or sour cream in most of these starchy delectable dishes... and the cheesecake... groan-moan!

2. Theory number the next one is my no or next to no carb diet backfiring... Having not consumed that precise quantity of carbs/sugar in so long. My body was revolting against happiness. I can vouch - I was not happy.

3. Some combination of 1 & 2.

4. My stomach was on protest, angry that it's been denied all the tasty things, that It put up road blocks and started burning the furniture to keep all the tasty goodness inside me as long as possible.

---

My trip to the ER, not fun. My November has looked bleak. Was sick the second week of November with a nasty flu/cold thing... Then the following week i've finally managed to shake it and then the week following that... this lovely thing happens.

I feel defeated, truthfully. I don't feel like I've made much progress this month with my fitness journey. On top of that I've not gone rock climbing all month! How can this be??? (sobs) That's just not fair, I want and need my new climbing hobby!

Even so, I know this to will pass. Rest assured, I'm feeling much better now. Back to my regular foods and working out... back to trying again tomorrow! Picking myself back up, and moving forward on this crazy train.

Crazy note, I'll have been doing this lifestyle change for a year in just under three months! I can hardly believe it!

#cutedresstocelebratefeelingbetterfinaly





New dress was my only black Friday purchase which I actually purchased before black Friday, (Off-White Wednesday) at +50% off. Only $20 WHAT??? I couldn't pass that up! wore it today for the first time since buying it.

It's officially a new month. Yay! I'm ready to say goodbye to November; so Hello December! Welcome Christmas, Pine Trees, Sleigh Rides, Snow, Carols, Cider, and Citrus! :)

Day#271: Who wore it better?

So just this last Friday; Because I was at the dregs of my clothing (I need to do laundry again), I dug out a few things I haven't worn in a while... I mean awhile!!! Try April 2014 - that's the last documented sighting of the blue cardigan... now finally making an appearance again 2 years later.

Here it is in it's former Glory... and now last Friday!



I put it on and couldn't be more pleased! I don't remember if it fit this good even when I bought it originally! WHAT? The things that happen when you keep clothes past not being able to wear them to now fitting in them once more. This... This is the kind of thing that happens! haha!

Who'd have thunk it? Not me! Yay!

Also, Working out at the Gym on Friday?! Who does that? - Me. I made up the session I missed on Tuesday from being sick. I'm so glad I did. When I work out I feel so much better about myself.

#sweatyselfie



Trainer Update:

Tyler has gone. I do miss him, however Thomas is excellent too! He has a very different style. Still intense, but more focused. Tyler made sure everything was new and exciting and that was great. Thomas on the other hand is focusing on seeing where i'm at and really driving home good form and consistency in mastering certain exercises and improving on certain movements.

It's a different kind of training and I think I'm fine with that. I'm more optimistic about things now that I've worked with him now for nearly a month and gotten used to his more quiet personality. I like him and am excited to see how things progress.

Things I'm super pleased with:

1. My arms are looking good, I'm really feeling a difference there and since it's a slow moving goal, I'm pleased with where I'm at.

2. My Legs! I wore my boots on Friday and noticed that they don't fit snug like they used to... Now there's all this space! Lean and Toned, that's what my legs are. They were always my favorite feature about myself, and it's only grown to be more so as I've been progressing on my fitness journey.



It's like those weight loss pant pictures, but for my legs HAHA! look 3 whole fingers width.

3. Form and Breathing. Because of my diabetes I've noticed a lot of things change how I feel while working out. Form and breathing are the main ones. If I have poor posture my back, knees and hips will hate me, but If I pay attention to doing things a bit slower and more concentrated on proper posture I can do more and with less pain. Breathing, Yes there's technique with breathing ;) who knew? I've really focused on being conscious of my breathing technique while working out. This has been a huge deal because if I don't breath properly my head swims and I get dizzy or I get instant headaches. So learning when to breath to support correct blood flow has made a big difference. I'm proud of my progress there... You know you breath good when you're trainer says he's impressed with it right?!

---

Nothing else to report! Thanks for all the love!

Day#268: The curitive power of soup, sleep, and sweat

Hey my peeps!

#sweatyselfie



The Tale of Struck Stupid:

So I've been sick... I've been feeling it coming on for a few days before it hit me hard Monday night. It happened so fast actually that I was all dressed and ready to hit the gym. It wasn't until I got ready and realized I was running a fever that I decided to not go to the gym and instead curl up in my cozy bed and go to sleep. My first good choice!

I hate being sick - And for those that know me, I'm that annoying person who out of some screwed up sense of duty or work ethic - I go to work even still. I know this is gross, and i'm such a hypocrite because when people come in sick and it's not me; I mentally scold them for being rude enough to bring sickness near the rest of us! Then there's me who'll trudge on in and look like death, and insist that I'm not that bad. (shakes head... Yes I know that's not cool... the opposite of it really!)

Just imagine me coughing out a lung, dusting it off and shoving it back all the while wheezing **"it looks worse than it is"** and you'd have the picture about right.

And even this time I attempted to do just that. Tuesday I got up, showered and pulled myself together despite my snot fuzed nostrils and dry scratchy throat. I hope the shower would invigorate me... It didn't. (grumble grumble stupid shower...) So off to work I drove. Got there and began prepping for a meeting that was supposed to be that morning, to which I had not been informed would in fact be Wednesday instead. Dutifully I printed my work and when my boss moseyed in I handed him my work. It was then explained to me however that the meeting was changed.

NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING LATELY!!!! (seriously that's almost as uncool as me dragging my sickly self into work.)

I present my work and after finishing up. My boss looks at me with fearful eyes and basically tells me to take some time to get better from the plague. So I packed up my sickly self and went home to once again curl up in bed.

---

The Tale of Struck Soup-Silly:

This is a short tale, because it's a lesson I learned quick. ready for it? (eh hem hem...) Don't attempt to make homemade Gluten Free Egg Noodles!!! No matter what the internet says about them being awesome and just like the real thing - those nasty worms ain't nothing like the real deal. IMPOSTERS!!!

Had the thought after waking up in my sick stooper. Nothing fixes sickness like my Mom's Turkey Noodle Soup! MMMmmmmmBOY! That stuff is so stinking good. I'd have to make a few consessions I thought... after all I'm trying to be good now, and I didn't have turkey. So I thought, i'd sub chicken, that'd be fine it was also a dead bird related to turkey... and second, I'd have to omit or replace the noodles. I declared to my empty kitchen "I Can Make Um!" (oh foolish girl!)

Off I went, created the tasty soup - It looked lovely!

Now for the noodles. I mixed up my noodle mixture... I had almond flour so I subbed it into the recipe. All looked fine, it even had the same consistency and appearance as regular egg noodles. But it wasn't! cut up that dough and plopped it in my hot soup... looked fine, so I added the rest and began to stir. Oh, what folly! The noodles began to disintegrate, evaporate in reverse. Dispersing into the soup like grainy sand devils - Mixing in and clumping up, turning my soup into sludge. What a mess...

Lesson Learned. Elyse can't do that! (I did attempt to eat the gloop... it was a major NOPE!)

---

The Tale of Struck Momsick:

Without fail, when you get sick you think about mom. I'm no different! Thinking of my mom I got myself some tomato soup (Thanks Costco!) and cuddled up to my couch and popped in one of my mom's favorite movies. Pride and Prejudice, the epic 5 hour long BBC version with Collin Firth. It's wonderful!

Got my tissues, soup and my mom vicariously through my movie... Helped a ton! I highly recommend it to anyone.



---

The Tale of Struck Sweaty Again:

So having been sick Tuesday I had to call of my Personal Training Session. There was just no way I could do it! But today I hoped for everything in me, that I'd somehow be able to muster up enough feeling-better-ness to do it! So I left work, letting my friend Holly know that If I wasn't in to work tomorrow that I'd died trying to do pushups at the gym. She nodded and hummed the death march as I walked out of the room.

Arrived to the gym on what has to be the coldest freaking day ever! Headed in, and started into my warm up routine. Got through that and thought, Maybe I can do it!

Headed down and got started with Thomas, Today he let the Trainee lead the session. Had a few moments with some serious head wobbles due to sinus pressure. But I'm so happy and thrilled that I did it. I feel so much better having done it and followed through on something that I wasn't sure I could manage. It sure was nice to get complemented on my progress and apparently I've got impressive Triceps according to Trainee Cami... (I think that's her name.)

Feels good.

---

Having started this week being sick. I'm proud that I went to the gym. Is it hard, Yes. Is it worth it? Yes... I just have to keep reminding myself that it is! :) Doing my best and forgetting the rest!

Happy Mid-November, how the heck did that happen? I dono!

Day#259: The Tale of Two Faces

Hey There!

It's been a few weeks. Honestly I've had a rough time keeping up the pace with all that's been going on. Working out hasn't stopped, but it certainly has proven to be more difficult moving forward than I would like. All good things are hard work right?

Yesterday I hit the gym super late because I was putting it off, but I know that I had to do it. So off I went. Trucked out there and walked in. That's really the test here, getting to the gym is always the hardest part for me - figures! (shrugs)

When you walk into a Vasa, you have to scan your membership card at the front desk. So I do this, then make my way over to the cabinets where my personal trainer folder is which holds all my workouts. I collect my red folder from the depths of the drawer still labeled Tyler :( and start to walk out to the mats and turf to do some foam rolling; that's when I get stopped by a voice calling my name.

"Elyse! Hey, good job!"

I turn around, standing at the front desk is a guy I don't recognize. He's smiling and nodding, so I know he's the one that was talking at me. "who me?" I say walking over.

"Yeah, just wanted to say congratulations, you're making such progress."

I blush, "Thanks... uhhh..." I look around confused because I've never met him before "How did you know my name?"

He smiles, shrugs and turns the computer monitor around. Plastered there in all it's plasma screen glory is my face! Insert awkward expression. "OH WOW! I didn't realize you guys saw my face every time I scan in..."

"Yeah, You're doing so well, you can totally tell how hard you've been working!"

"Thanks, about 55lbs gone now."

Looks at screen, "you've been a member since February? Way to go!"

I nod bashfully. "Thanks, we should really update the picture."

"Come February we should totally update it, no problem!"

I nod, thank him again, and walk away awkwardly.

Who knew!? I didn't know they saw my face every time, well at least it clearly shows my progress! Yay! Random strangers feel the need to comment... I can't complain. It's really nice to be recognized for something like that! Adds a bit of pep to my step! Yay.

#sweatyselfie - In honor of my face from Febuary being on the scan-in-screen and my face now, Here's a comparison of my most recent sweatselfie, and my first.


---

In other news, Halloween was exhausting! I'm only now recovering from the lack of sleep I put myself foolishly through.

As some of you may know, I've been working on a viking costume for Halloween for a few weeks now, and it turned out amazing. Minus all the other bits and bobbles that I wanted to do, (I always over-complicate, and over stretch my capabilities... I'm overly ambitious!) my helmet and shoulder armor didn't end up getting completed due to timing.

My awesome sister Kjarsti helped me finish the costume and all because she's awesome and wanted me to be happy! It was a long night/morning. I honestly don't handle sleep deprivation as well as I once could. Go figure!

Behold!


Here's my epic viking costume beside my epic klingon costume from 2 years ago!




I made every part of this costume myself...with the help of my sisters ;)
Kyra helped me do the Linen Shirt.
Kjarsti helped me finish off and construct/sew the chest plate and skirt.

I'm grateful to be related to talented people! I love Dressing up!

Day#245: I might be cursed...or blessed, can't decide.

I'm beginning to think I'm cursed or something... was told today at the start of my personal training session with Tyler, that he's being transferred and that this will be his last week working at my gym location. :(

GOSH DARN IT!!! I can't seem to keep a trainer past the 4 month mark. I'm so sad to be loosing Tyler as my trainer. He really pushed me hard and encouraged me even harder. I guess I just have to keep hoping that the next one ends up being just what I need to move further toward success as well.

I can't help it. I get attached to these peeps. Kendra, Tyler... WHY?!?! (sniff sniff...)

Was introduced to the guy who is taking over most of Tyler's clients... yup, me to. His name is Thomas. He seems nice enough; I mean what can you really gauge from a person when they're watching you work out; sweating and grunting... (making the best first impression I'm sure). My first session with him will be November 2nd. Crossing my fingers and praying that this is what I need. Who knows, maybe this is divine intervention - making sure i'm not comfortable with my trainer, keeping me pushing myself and proving myself. Sneaky how god does things like that in my life. It's like he knows me or something!?

---


#sweatyselfie

---

Having had a very poor track record with doctors my whole life, don't even get me started on Endocrinologists.... Yeishh... I had a three month follow up appointment just this Monday with my doctor. Here are some numbers that may not mean anything so some peeps out there but make me feel really good about my progress.

97 - This is what my glucose levels are sitting at currently.

I have Diabetes. I was diagnosed a little over two years ago (have I admitted that on the blog before? I'm not sure I have.) It feels ugly and gross even to say. Probably because I've been avoiding it, ignoring it, and trying to pretend that it's not a problem for so long. All I really feel about it now is Shame! I thought as long as nobody knows, I can pretend. I can try and fight this thing all on my own. Stupid self-harming lies. It didn't do me any good.

Happily, I'm doing so much better now!

Right before my mom passed away. Back when I fist attempted to get control of this just months after mom died my glucose level was riding at 260! Dangerous, and scary aren't even adept at describing how that number made me feel - terrible, and hopeless would be closer descriptors.

To have taken control of my health and to have made such a huge amount of progress from 260 down to 97 is a miracle really. I feel like it is... (for perspective, most healthy people ride glucose levels between 90-100 that's considered healthily controlled blood sugar levels.) How could someone so hopeless about my situation turn things around? Sometimes this really still catches me surprised. I think it just goes to show how I'm the biggest obstacle in my life. I just need to get out of my way - get out of the way of my own progress and I can do anything!

Other numbers that are exciting: My cholesterol is looking awesome too in case you were wondering - I know you were ;)

My insulin is looking good too.. two years ago my body couldn't regulate or create enough insulin to keep my sugar levels under control... now I'm sporting much better levels that show my pancreas is actually able to do it's job and process sugars - creating the right amount of insulin does wonders.

---

I've had a few adventures these past couple weeks: Had a couple photoshoots for work last week. Got eaten alive by misquitos the second shoot. Ouch! I don't know why they like me so much, but they bite me like I'm coated in honey or something. Sigh.

Here's some pics.










(this is Ashley, I work with this wonderful lady, I'm so glad I do!)





This is one of those experiences that I'd never have considered me getting involved in, in any form. So to art direct a photoshoot all about hunting and training hunting dogs... It's one of those things that I never knew I'd appreciate until I did it. Not that we hunted while on the shoot, but the atmosphere and learning about the sport of duck hunting. It's crazy to think about.

---

Home after the second photoshoot, and took off my hat, Hello long curly hair!!


(Caught myself wondering if I should cut it now or wait for my annual haircut around christmas... or see what happens if I just don't cut it. I don't ever let my hair grow much longer than this. Intriguing thought.)

---

Also, took a girls day and went to Lagoon with my sister Kjarsti and my Sister-in-law Kyra a couple weeks ago... Kyra convinced me to ride the new ride "Cannibal". That thing is super scary! fun... but scary!



Got to love fun with your sisters! I know I do!

Day#228: 50 LBS and it feels so good!

I thought the ten lbs between 30 and 40 lbs was the hardest... nope!

I'm so excited to share with you guys, my success of reaching 50 lbs. That's half way to my 100 lbs weight loss goal. AHHHHH! I can't believe it, that's so crazy!

All the hard work i've put in is paying off! It sure doesn't seem worth it some days when i'm eating like a bird or eating boring food when I'd rather be eating cheesecake. But today it feels amazing! It feels like I can do anything, even loose the next 50 lbs! One day at a time!

Awhile back I put on my cute little black dress to show off how much progress I was making, and I thought it'd be interesting to see that picture next to me in that same dress now!

Me in the black dress back in March

And me now, Here in October!

Even I looked at it and was like "HOLY CRAP? I look awesome!" **blush**

I can't thank everyone enough for how supportive they've been of my weight loss journey. Its a struggle every day and every day is it's own little battle. Some times you loose and sometimes you totally crush it! I think the number one thing I've learned is this:

There are always going to be people out there who try and bring you down, try to belittle your accomplishments by comparing you to them or others... Your success isn't dependent on anyone, measured by anyone else's success... you can do hard things and your hard things are never going to look the same to someone else or feel the same to someone else as they do to you. It's a struggle fighting for anything, particularly when it's something that you want very much.

When I started this whole thing. I walked into the gym to get a membership and the guy helping me out asked me a question. "What is it you most want out of this?" I remember breaking down, saying "I want to feel better."

Not only for my health, that was a huge factor, but also feel better about myself. I've gone through so many years hating myself for how I look, how I feel and how many times i've failed. It's true that the worst critic the most damaging voice is your own. I know that first hand.

We're told to say kind things to others, to be nice. But I don't think we remember often enough to be kind to ourselves. I'm making a personal goal to change my internal voice. To stop saying mean and hurtful things about myself and to instead replace it with "You are awesome", "You are beautiful", "You are loved", and "You can do hard things."

I'm not going to let others or my own internal voice bring me down, I'm going to fight like crazy to remember I'm worth it!

--- ---

In other news...

I don't know how, but I convinced a gaggle of coworkers old and current to join me in an after-work rock climbing adventure last Wednesday, but I did. HA!

I forgot to snap a picture of our entire group before people took off, but there were 7 of us total. Gwen, Kaiser, Brittney, and myself... pictured below, plus Parrin & Jamison and his wife.

It was a blast, I can't believe that so many people came to rock climb. I just love it! I didn't get to climb as much as I would have liked, but that's alright it was still amazing as always!

I've admitted that I freaking love rock climbing. Which is crazy because the very idea of it used to terrify me and paralyze me from going more than a foot off the ground. I'm addicted, and every time I go I feel so accomplished and so charged with confidence. Not only that it's also a work out! :) bonus.

Still looking for more friends who want to get rock climbing! wink wink... hint hint...

---

Life is good! :)

Day#217: Climbing Initiation... apparently!

Huzzah for Climbing adventures... that is until you hurt yourself. Yes it's true, I hurt myself. This past Saturday I went rock climbing again with crazy Jane! it was supposed to be outside in "nature"; in the wilds of Utah; but due to crazy weather, (snow in the mountains, rain everywhere else) we felt it would be smarter to stick with doing it indoors. So off the gym we went.


#sweatyselfie

I got there early and got certified to belay! Yay! Now I can "safely" belay someone else. I swear I'm going to get Jane up on that wall at the other end of the rope. She can't avoid it forever... ;) I probably shouldn't rush the person who's had a crazy leg injury to consider... me my injuries were less sever to be sure.

We climbed several new spots, and I concurred a new route (with green rocks), along with another good go at some I dominated last time round. Jane is always fun to go climbing with because she's so encouraging to this newbie. I really appreciate that about her.

I think however, I've found my next nemesis in climbing routes... this red rock path totally ruined me. I attempted three different times to scale it, got to the same spot and each time - then slipped and fell. The first time, was the worst!

Behold...


"This..." says Jane, "makes you a true hardcore climber."

Caught my finger on a rock on my way down, and bruised one finger, slightly ripping a fingernail up on my thumb... It was super ouchie! I may have pouted and taken a break after that climb, my hands were so raw... poor little fingers.

When I asked Jane if there were such things as climbing gloves she laughed and showed me pictures like this...




Jane: "You're officially initiated into rock climbing now."
Me: "I wasn't initiated, I was hazed!"(pouty lip)

I was a little bitter about the fall, Jane was trying to tell me where to put my hand holds and well... I was a bit frustrated that it resulted in a slip and the subsequent finger ouchies. I'm over it now... mostly ;) haha!

I do like rock climbing, I think it's really challanging and fun. I'll have to admit at some point that it's more than a casual interest... what do you guys think? Where's that line, rock climbing adventure #5, #10? things to think about. Still looking for more single friends who are interested in climbing with me, It's a hard thing to do alone. Sigh... I need more friends. (this may seem like a sad plee for friendship from a overworked and stressed out designer, but I assure you - that's EXACTLY what it is!)

---

Following my rock climbing adventure #3 I met up with my sisters and attended the LDS's Semi-Anual General Confrence Women's meeting. It was awesome! I love my sisters. Honestly I lucked out in that department.




Good Times!

---

Monday I have to admit I wasn't feeling to great, I'm pretty sure that I've caught some kind of lovely little bug from my adorable nephew! I couldn't resist that snot covered little goober, he's so adorable even when he's all runny nosed and cranky. Well, Now I'm getting sick. Which is definitely not something I want to be getting. I'd love to be getting promoted, getting a free vacation to Disney, Getting a Hug... any of those would be great. Getting sick... not so much.

So I skipped out on the work out Monday. But today is Tuesday, and I have a training session with Tyler scheduled. I start thinking... should I or shouldn't I go? Honestly I didn't entertain the idea of canceling for very long before I rationalized that, if i'm going to get sicker (which I probably will...) I know that I'll have to cancel then, and since I'm paying for these sessions gosh darn it, I'm going to go until I just really can't. ;) No, I'm not going to be irresponsible and go and get Tyler sick - He has a baby at home peeps. I'm not cruel!

So I went; and I'm super glad I did. Today we did a bit more chill of a work out, which I'm glad for. I reminded Tyler of a conversation we had had a couple weeks ago about doing a work out focusing on my hips and the fact that I'm pretty sure (like 99% sure) that my hips are out of alignment. So today we did stretches, and exercises to target my hips. I'm so stiff in the hips, these stretches were super effective, and yes painful. But with great stretches comes greater flexibility... and pain... pain too!

---

Today's #sweatyselfie

Anyway... it's a crazy life, working out and getting on track. Yup, even being sick isn't going to stop me, It might delay or waylay or re-rought me, or slow me to a crawl, but I'll keep eeking onward. Just doing my best and forgetting the rest. :)

Day#208: BYU-Idaho TimeWarp

This weekend I got the chance to go visit my good friend Lisa up at my old collage stomping grounds BYU-Idaho. I love that place and sometimes I even miss it - then I remember homework and I don't miss it as much ;) haha!


Aww, aren't we cute!

it's crazy to think that this...

...was almost 5 years ago now.

Lisa's husband is going to school there now so she's moved back up there while he's attending. Which means she's 4 hours away now, instead of the 8 or so hours away she was in Colarado. YAY! I just had to go see her before she had her new baby. She's due any time now with her second baby, a boy.

We talked and walked a ton, drove around the city and walked around campus. When I graduated in the Spring of 2011 it wasn't nearly as nice as it is now. They have finished construction on so many of the buildings including some I didn't know they were doing construction on at all! The housing around campus has exploded! Apartments cropping up and spreading out as far as you can see. The most impressive ones looking like swanky deluxe villa's, cobbled roads and balconies. I mean really nice!!! definitely too nice for me to ever afford to live in.

My sister Melisa went to school at BYUI when David A Bednar was still president of the school, and the housing she stayed in are now gone!!! Replaced with a parking lot.


All Gone! No more Beehive Manor/Viking Village.

With everything that's changed it's still the same beautiful wonderful place. I can't imagine having never gone here. It defined a lot about me and who I wanted to become. I'm a proud BYUI Grad for sure.

I wish I could have visited more people and seen more it was a short trip. Next time!

Day#205: Strangers Take Notice & Flying Nerves

I heard on the grape vine when I started this weight loss thing (grape vine not redvines... mmmm licorice), that it takes a few weeks for you to see a difference, a couple months for friends and family to notice, and then 4 months before strangers notice a difference. I actually have seen this to be true, perhaps a bit longer a timeline than that but it's been interesting...

#SweatySelfie

--- Strangers Take Notice, Tale One: The casual convo reveal.

My coworker Kaiser, who gives me some headaches sometimes, "oh Kaiser..." (shakes head dubiously); stops me in the parking lot on our way out the door to head home and asks me about healthy snack ideas. This was totally crazy, thinking anyone would ask me for advice on "Healthy Food."

After I share a few ideas, He casually says, "You've lost weight right..." I nod and smile, yeah 40 lbs now. His jaw dropped and he dropped a word I won't utter in typing here... but the enthusiasm was certainly there. It felt good to impress and to re-afirm just how far I've come. :)

--- Strangers Take Notice, Tale Two: May the "Gym" be with you.

Second instance recently of stranger's noticing has been at the gym. As you guys might recall, Tyler keeps on pushing to do group workouts... I've gotten on board for now, and am seeing how I like it, how I feel about it. So far it's been good. Primarily I think because it's just been me and one other girl in this "Group" workouts... Her name is Kamisha, she's amazing and I can't help but compare my progress with hers... it's bound to happen... (bows head in shame) Who knew I was so competitive?! lol.

Anyway, Kamisha works out with her sister at the gym on other days than our group work out days, and her sister works out alone there too... Well, apparently I was working out on Tuesday and they were both there; and caught i'm sure more than their fair share of a sweaty glimpse of me doing my thing. Kamisha tells me today after our group session, that her sister pointed to me and made the comment; "See that girl, I see her here a ton, and she's looking so good!" ***BLUSH***

I like working out with Kamisha, she's kind and very real, not fake which I like! I suppose that's a point for Group Workouts... dang it! ;)

--- Strangers Take Notice, Tale Three: Flying Incognito.

My third tale also happened today ironically enough. So my new boss at work, decided that I should be the one to go out to Colorado and press check my catalog. A massive project I've been finally getting out the door (breaths a sigh of relief)... normally this one designer who's been with the company forever... (cough cough... Dave... Cough...) goes to do the press check. But, as it happened... I went instead.

ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! haha... and an adventure it was.

As most of my family knows, my dad passed away when I was 5, died in a plane crash. It was a small plane that his brother was learning to fly. They had engine troubles, then had to make an emergency landing where they hit low power lines... Now the plane I was getting on for this trip was not that small, but golly it sure felt too small to be safe, I'll tell you that much.

First row, first seat, crammed by the window mer glass and plastic between me and the shakey exterior of this jet. The nice gentlemen who sat next to me was a frequent flyer and told me all his flying tales, I think he was trying to distract me... what a guy! lol.

So we get on board, I strap in and try not to think about how I might drop out of the sky and perish. We taxi out to the runway and are told that due to their being a separation in the concrete all traffic is being routed to the other runway... so off we taxi again...  again we wait and wait... I get more nervous as we wait.

Only to discover as we taxi back to the terminal that the alignment on the plan's front tire is off, and they can't take off with it that way. Leave it to me to land on a plane that's a dud... more nervousness as we wait another hour before they cleared us to take off once more.

Off we fly. Only was an hour and a half late to my appointment in CO... no biggie right??? (bites nails).

But the stranger noticing happened on my way back. As I get checked in at the desk on my way back (yes once again on a small jet)... the lady hands me back my id and goes "Wow, you look amazing." I smile and thank her. blushing all kinds of red I'm sure. "Thanks I've been working out..." she nods and says "Hopefully TSA let's you through now that you look so different." she chuckles.

My eyes go wide... COULD THAT HAPPEN??? I hand the TSA guy my ticket and id and he doesn't say a word... not a word, just nods and lets me pass. Probably too stunned by my beauty to mention it. Poor guy. ;)

---

I'm almost half way to my initial goal... I can see it so close now.... SO CLOOOooooosseee.... dang it.

This weekend I get to go visit one of my very best friends from collage. The magnificent LISA! (gush) I couldn't be more excited to see her and all the changes to BYU- Idaho's campus. I hear it's unrecognizable. I can't wait. Should be a blast. Lisa's pregnant with her second baby and is due soon. I'm so excited, what could be cooler? Maybe this baby will be born on my other nephews birthday HAHA... her first baby Alice was born the same day as my first and most awesome nephew Xander, hours apart. It's a small world too when you realize that my sister in law Kyra and Lisa were both my roommates at Collage.

I could gush forever about how excited I am but I'll spare you. Hope everyone has a great Friday and following weekend, be safe and don't fall out of the sky on any small airplanes. (just say no!).

Day#200: Climbing Up, and doing Great.

This morning I went rock climbing again, that's rock climbing adventure round two!!! This time I got to go with my previous trainer Kendra, her boyfriend, and my brother Michael and his wife Jenifer. It was AMAZING!

I can totally tell how I've improved, because I have last time's success to compare it with, haha! Michael was a rock star, and basically climbed to the tippy top on every single spot we went on. He's got more experience than I do so I'll take that in friendly competition's stride ;) Jenifer was basically just as awesome as Michael. But I already knew my family was awesome ;)

---

The first climb is always the scariest I think, because I have to remind myself that I'm not going to fall and die, and to tame my fear of heights in order to keep climbing. Kendra is super awesome, like a monkey! I kept watching her climb in awe - her boyfriend Kyle was equally impressive. Something to aspire to.

Gosh it's so good to see her again! And to see her almost 20 lbs lighter than when we last saw each other was also great. I'm so close to half way to my end goal, it's so close I can almost taste it. Curse those mini muffins at work... curse those delectable little lemon poppyseed monsters! :P




I'm all sweaty and gross... Good thing Michael can't smell haha!

I feel I did really well today, particularly because I went with an awesome group of peeps to cheer me on! But also because I made it all the way to the top of the wall this time... TWICE! Huzzah! It's like 40-ish feet tall!

See these path's that I climbed last time? The purple trail all close together and then the orange and blue ones that sit right beside them (shown below), I concord them!


" Jenifer, give a little wave when you get to the top!" - She did! :D

Both those, paths I got to the very tippy top on. Bboth were paths that I couldn't get reach the top of last time -Yay for progress, Yay for rock climbing. I may have found a hobby... maybe... just maybe.



I officially learned how to belay... a lady at the gym taught us (Michael, Jenifer and I), so I just have to get certified the next time I go in! I say learn, but I really mean re-learn from that time I learned way back when I was a girl scout. Golly that was a while ago!


(Michael belay's Jenifer)

I can't wait to do this again! Anyone interested in coming with I'm totally down for it. Just let me know. I'm trying to widen my circle of rock climbing peeps. Particularly since it's not a one person sport... except for" boldering" which apparently is the one man version of rock climbing... with short walls and you're no more than a few feet off the ground at a time. I guess I could give that a go sometime!

Only two weeks till I do rock climbing out in nature... or as I dubbed it "Wild Climbing" because it's in the wilds of nature! haha. Which makes indoor climbing "Domesticated Climbing" - makes sense right?

---

I can't believe I've been at this fitness journey now for 200 days straight! That's amazing. I'm feeling better, and I'm more active. Plus this week I even worked out 5 times! Rock climbing counts as working out ;) Totally; my jello arms and sore toes and fingers will attest to the fact.

Happy Saturday All. Just keep swimming, climbing, working out... at least that's my plan. <3

Day#198: The Great Clothing Purge of 2016

So, This weekend I decided to finally do something that I'd been meaning to for awhile now... A clothing Purge! As i've lost weight, less and less of my clothing fits me. I've had to come to realization that I had to sift through everything that I own and weed out all the things I can't actually wear anymore! It's quite a freeing feeling really - pun intended.

I literally went through every single item and tried them on. Which resulted in emptying out 2/3 of my closet. BO-YEAH! I can't believe it. It feels sad but happy at the same time. Particularly since the clothing i've been purging are kinda sentimental. About two years ago I gave myself permission to enjoy clothing, to enjoy how I look and to actually buy clothes that fit and feel good - despite my weight.

It was a huge step for me!

Growing up, I developed a very negative attitude toward clothes and my body image. My mom would try out of the best intentions to encourage me and my sisters to loose weight by saying things like "when you loose some weight, we'll buy you some cute new clothes!" I know she meant well, trying to encourage us. I, like the teen I was - took it as a hit to my self esteem. I wasn't worth having cute clothes. I wasn't pretty enough, wasn't thin enough to be worth spending money on new clothing.

So... being an adult and making my own money; I gave myself permission to finally treat myself. To get clothing that I liked, that was cute, that wasn't always cheep just get by; and it felt good! I know how messed up and twisted my self worth was around my weight. I'm so happy to realize how much i've grown, how good I feel about my body. It's fabulous at every stage of this journey. I wish my mom was still around to see me finally choose to do this weight loss thing for ME! I know she's still with me supporting me as I work on my happiness - nobody wanted me to be happy like she did. Even if she didn't say it the way I needed to hear it as a teenager, but that's every parent's struggle I imagine. :)

Now I give myself permission. Permission to be happy. Permission to buy nice clothes and not be ashamed to grow or shrink out of them. Permission to realize that i'm worth nice things. Permission to forgive my mom for the hard feelings I harbored toward her and my very long journey of weight struggle. I'm my own powerhouse of awesome! Nobody has the power to diminish me or build me up like I do!

Go and be awesome, don't apologize for being you. Be happy with who you are, no matter your size! I genuinely hope that for everyone, all my peeps, my sisters and friends. Nobody should feel they're self-worth depends on the scale. Even if sometimes I am sometimes a hypocrite and put too much value in the numbers on the scale... It's a hard habit to break, but I'm working on it constantly, after all it's not just a single choice, it's an every day choice to be happy and to keep trying to be happy!

---



I get to rock some sweet outfits, and regardless of how much I weigh now or ever!



Like this super cute red dress!

---

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, I've been trying hard to eat better and that's been such a challenge. Not only to eat more balanced but more often in smaller quantities like Tyler has challenged me. It's easier if I plan and prep. Snacks are tricky when you've got to get protein/carb/fat in each meal or snack. I've done a lot of nuts and fruit - people at work must think I never stop eating lol! It has led to some food adventures for sure!

---

It's nice to get recognition for your hard work. People at work are seeing more often, saying such nice encouraging things. Even if it's in the form of shock at just how much i've lost. hahaha!

At work we have ID badges, which nobody wears like were supposed to... opps. But I was looking at mine the other day and felt super proud, I've come such a far way from where I was. The picture was taken a year ago, almost to the week.



I couldn't help but wish we could re-take these pictures. lol! nothing like seeing perspective in this journey of mine; and this is definitely one of those moments. :) Hey when I eventually leave this job I can burn it. Laughing like a mad woman and dancing around the flames! Anyone interested in coming to the badge-burning bbq? :)

Keep on swimming, just doing what I can each day. Because tackling today is far easier than thinking about a week, month, or a year down the road. Each day is a battle I can win! eventually winning the war!

Happy Labor Day!