Day344: Soreness & Tears

Today is Tuesday, which means it's Personal Trainer day. It was also my first day with the new trainer they've assigned me since Thomas left. Her name is Kylee. She's fine... I guess... Maybe.... (insert exasperated sigh).

78 Days till WDW2.0

I'm feeling frustrated. And perhaps that's because I've been spoiled by trainers that have really believed in me and pushed me... but still I'm jaded that I'm now on trainer number 4 for the last three weeks before my contract is up. I'm ready to push myself and really show myself what I'm capable of.

So needless to say I'm sore. I've been sore in my legs particularly since Saturday... but still, able to work out... but apparently It was a mistake to tell my new trainer my new adventure into CrossFit. I need support, and she definitely did not give off the vibe that she was going to be supportive. Her first words were... "OH... You're brave." (with a sour-ish kind of look I might add)

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but come on!!! I'm paying them... and with my last six sessions they should be about my needs, and NO, I don't want to spend half or more of those in an hour long group session... I'll be getting enough of that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday thank you very much! So having that shoved down my throat over and over is not something I appreciate.

I don't know what to do, and she kept pestering me through the work out... what do you want, how can I help... what nutrition plans can I help you with... these are all good questions that if I were to have a trainer for more than a total of five more visits it might be worth getting into. But I'm feeling defeated by my feelings here... I didn't know what I wanted from her, and I still don't. I want to be done with it and move on... but I want to get what I paid for. It's a fine line of not caring, and caring.

When put on the spot, particularly when I'm emotional and had a hard day at work too... surmounting emotions collide and I can't pinpoint why I'm upset. Such was the case with Kylee today. I started to loose my cool under these loaded questions; and I cried a bit while biting back bitter nonconstructive words. Then was lectured at because of the pause and lack of a satisfying answer.

Now i've promised to come on Thursday and tell her what I want from working out with her. And right now I don't know what that is... Sigh! What do I want...?

#sweatyselfie



Guess I have another day to really figure that out... Tomorrow is CrossFit again.

Day#343: CrossFit Day One

So just this last Saturday afternoon I posted a video on Facebook about my impending craziness... I've joined a 6 week CrossFit Challenge. It's an all Ladies group, and all of us are in various places in our fitness goals... some peeps have even done challenges like this in the past (those pros making the rest of us look bad ;) )

CrossFit, as I understand it; is a combination of olympic weight training, combined with "Functional" strength training. Functional meaning - they do work outs that target the kinds of muscles you use for regular life, and build them specifically. All this is done with a huge amount of intensity - Lots of repetitions in short bursts to really tax you.

I attest, it's taxing for sure!

79 Days till WDW2.0

So I've been working out for nearly a year, and felt I needed to step up my game, or as I told Mandy one of the CrossFit coaches today, to "put the fear back in me" on my fitness journey. This is a super accurate description. I am scared and full of nerves about it. CrossFit is going to be very challenging. Particularly given the fact that I still have Personal Trainer through Vasa for another 3 weeks.

That means that for the next three weeks my life will pretty much look like this:

Monday: CrossFit
Tuesday: Personal Trainer
Wednesday: CrossFit
Thursday: Personal Trainer
Friday: CrossFit
Saturday: Optional (but highly encouraged) Cardio CrossFit
Sunday: Rest Day.

I'm not sure what I was thinking... but I've sure set myself up for some crazy weeks ahead. Not sure if I'll renew the trainer once my year concludes, I think I'll wait and see how much I love or hate CrossFit after the Challenge is over at the End of March.

On top of this insane workout schedule I have a new diet plan that goes along with the CrossFit Challenge that I have to adhere to. So with my diabetes it'll be interesting to see how I can make the meals work and still have level blood sugars... But I think I can do it, Having grown more familiar with my body and how it reacts to food I've gotten better at spotting how to deal with low or high levels as they hit me.

Here's a pic from today's work out; the "Official" first work out of the challenge.



Calling it the first work out, when the work out on Saturday was supposed to be an "Orientation" is mean. Because to be honest... Saturday's work out killed - call it more of a hazing. I have been sore all weekend - the only relief I've really felt has come from working out again today and doing lots of foam rolling. (Heaven Bless my Burnt Tootsie Roll!)

These ladies are super nice, and everyone is very supportive. I can see why the community aspect of CrossFit is so appealing. It's nice to have company when you're miserable... then you know they can understand you're pain... really understand it ;) Misery does indeed love company. Haha!

So... Crossfit Summery of Day1:

Today's work out was 2 parts... the first was a Workout of the Day: it consisted of sumo barbell deadlifts followed by hip bridges. I lifted 95lbs total on those barbell lifts! Crazy Sauce!

Second Part was three sets of 6 minute high intensity workouts, with two movements in each repeated 3 times. Then we'd get a 2 minute break between these intense 6 minutes.

First we did Rows and Mountain Climbers (Do not like these, they hurt my knees).
Second we did Russian KettleBell Thrusts, and sit-ups.
Last we ran 200 meters, and then did Russian twists.

After all this, I was pooped... but so stinking grateful that we didn't do any squats because my legs are  still sore from "Orientation."

Overall, I'm feeling good right now post work out. Feeling very proud of myself and glad that I'm trying this new and challenging experience. Who knows what I can accomplish, but I can't wait to find out! :)

Day#339: Goodbyes Again

Today I had my last training session with my trainer Thomas. Dang it sucks to see another trainer go, just when I felt like I was getting used to his style of training. What's worse is that I don't even know who my trainer will be after this... (bites nails nervously to nubbins).

83 Days till WDW2.0

I'm almost at my year mark since I started working out, and in that time I've now had 3 trainers. Each of them have taught me a lot and added something new to my work out experience that I'm grateful I've had. I've got my fingers crossed that whoever is next really helps me amp up my game and pushes me even further just like Thomas did, and Tyler before him, and Kendra before that.

Here's Thomas and I with a post workout #sweatyselfie - I really am going to miss this guy!



How appropriate that we should make muscles for the camera (his idea by the way), since he's the trainer that I feel I've gained the most muscle with. I mean WOW! That gun show is impressive (shifty eyes...) lol.



I suppose I'll just have to move on somehow ;) Here's to the next leg of the journey.

Day#333: Set Backs Suck

Today i'm trying to do my best to accept it. I've gotten to a wall... a huge set back in my progress and I'm not very happy with myself for it. Queue the guilt montage and tears. That's right... I to am human.

89 days till WDW2.0

So It's been coming on for awhile now, but it's hold seems to be iron tight now. My weight loss progress has stalled; or to put it more realistically... I've gained a depressing step back of 5 lbs. Somewhere between my sickly holidays and my getting back in the swing of it couple of weeks something happened... I stopped making progress.

Practically flat lined :(

Plateaus happen according to more educated people than me. But that doesn't stop them from being discouraging. In fact it makes every ounce creeping in the wrong direction a massive bummer. I'm not sure entirely why things have stopped moving. I've been keeping up with my good diet (aside from the occasional error), and working out has actually increased since the new year started.

According to the many things i've been googling the last few weeks... there are many reasons that these things happen:

I could just be no longer eating at the calorie intake that is appropriate for my weight loss to continue. This sucks, because I already have a hard time with where my limit is currently, adjusting it with taking my diabetes into account is something that worries me since keeping a even blood sugar level can be tricky, it can easily sway one way or the other and make me feel sick.

It could be that I've gotten too much in a rut with my work out. My body is used to the work outs that I've been doing. Although this is good for building muscles in specific areas, this does not keep my body challenged and hence the weight isn't coming off the same way as it was. Thomas is a good trainer and a great Guy, and I do like seeing defined muscle... but I don't know if I like that as much as seeing the numbers go down on the scale.

It could be related to my thyroid issues. I honestly don't know here... I feel so uninformed about how my low thyroid actually is hindering my ability to loose weight, but now that I've gotten my blood sugars under control I would have expected to actually feel a difference in the meds I'm taking. Sigh... Guess It's time to talk to my doctor again.

I suppose it all can't be rainbows and weight loss, got to get kicked down to reality every so often to appreciate things.

Now I just have to decide what things I'm going to alter about my current lifestyle to get back to that wanted weight loss... I'm starting with diet.

#sweatyselfie #workingoutonafriday



Got to keep doing my best and forgetting the rest, I can only control so much right? Here's hoping that I can get back to where I was and on to where I want to be. :)

Day#330: Just my luck... Again.

It's a Tuesday, a tricksier Tuesday to be exact, because fate has dealt me an odd one that's for sure. Try as I might I keep seeming to scare off these unsuspecting trainers... In my own defense I did tell Thomas when he started that I was cursed.

92 Days till WDW2.0

Yup, Today Thomas informed me that Vasa was relocating him, just like the did with Tyler. He's off to be a whole bunch of other people's new trainer and I have to get a new one. :( major frown face here!

I'm starting to get annoyed... I mean come on? that's 4 trainers in the corse of a year? That's ridiculous! RIDICULOUS I SAY!

Sigh...

I guess I can't keep them around, It sucks but there it is. With how much I'm paying to have a personal trainer you would think they would make an effort to keep you with the same one right? Apparently not. I'm incredibly miffed.

I'll do my best to take it in stride and hope that a new trainer is a blessing in disguise. I was starting to feel frustrated with my lack of progress. So... maybe history will prove this to be a stroke of good luck. but for now my history book has this event recorded as a miss.

#sweatyselfie



In other news... I went to see my grandma this last Sunday and caught a glimpse of something amazing and magical! Behold!





THIS RADICAL SWEATER! Oh yeah! Check it out in all it's 90's glory! seriously the coolest sweater ever with it's lurid colors and outrageous print... Not to mention the wonderful built in turtle neck this sweater has it all!

I think I'm like 7ish in these pictures... I was so stinking cute once!

I'm thinking of re-creating it as a tee shirt design. I could rock that again in 2017 right? lol!

Day#325: The Human Snow Cone Syndrome

I did it, I worked out every day this week so far, that means I'm 4/4 for my goal this week! AwwwYeah! Yesterday was a hard-fight-my-laziness kind of evening, so actually making it in yesterday was a small victory for my week so far!

97 Days till WDW2.0

I seem to find myself having a conversation like this below with people more and more often, and I don't think it's entirely the weather's fault... I'm starting to get suspicious.

Coworker: "Is it a little warm in here?"

Me: "Ummmm... (licks finger and gauges the wind indoors) Maybe?"

Coworker: "I'm a little warm."

Me: "Oh, I'm actually a little cold!" (admitting ashamedly).

Coworker: "Really?!"

Me: "That's just it, I never used to get cold like this!"

I think since i've started loosing weight my body just doesn't retain heat the same way or something... I used to always be running at a hotter temperature than normal people. When people were cold I was fine and when people were hot I was melting (a real human-snow-cone-in-July kind of a thing).

But It's been suggested by a few people in reaction to my new internal temperature phenomenon that that's just because I've lost weight. CAN IT BE??? all these years of just assuming it was genetics and basically that everyone else in the world were wimpy in the cold... It was just me!!!???

Other things that I never did because I would overheat easily was have long hair, wear sweaters... Could I now enjoy these things? Is my world now brighter and more shiny because I'm as wimpy in the cold now like everyone else?

Maybe! ;)

#sweatyselfie A little before and after action for you... Wore my hair down for the first time in forever today for work with some curls... I don't know... Maybe I don't hate long hair after all.



Also... Workout Victory; did measurements today and wasn't nearly as far off track as I thought... However the biggest wow moment was my Hips/Butt measurement. I've lost a whole 1.5 inches baby! WooHoo! Why my butt is shrinking when I want my lovely middle roll to disappear is beyond me - But I'll take what progress I can get!

All my arm measurements also went down, Which is awesome, I'm feeling more and more confident about my arms as things progress. Yay!

I would love to be in a size smaller pants for WDW in April! I'm going to add that to my list of goals. Here's to keeping chugging on forward... ithinkicanithinkicanithinkican... :)

Day#323: To the gym... and Beyond!

Working Hard! Day number two for this week at the gym and it was a good one!

99 Days till WDW2.0

Feeling good - Like I'm getting back on track with my working out. Tuesdays are group work out days, at least until my friend CeJay no longer is paying for personal training. Then who knows who Thomas will put me with then. (shudders)

That's alright though, CeJay says she likes working out with me and that she'd still like to do that once her personal training is all over, so I might have a gym buddy. That'd be new and fun! She's very encouraging and who am I to complain about that right ;)

#sweatyselfie



---

Anyone interested in going rock climbing with me? I would love to go at least once a month if not twice, I understand it's not a cheap activity, but golly I promise it'll be fun! Anyone? Anyone?

---

Also, remember that list of things I've never done because I felt to fat list? Yeah this one:

- Rock Climbing
- Scuba Diving
- Skydiving
- Water Skiing/Wake Boarding
- Snowboarding or Skiing
- Surfing
- Hiking a Mountain
- Kick Boxing
- Ball Room Dance
- Running (Race)
- Zip-Line

Well last year I got into Rock Climbing Big time! Yay! So much fun! I also did the color run, which was a 5K - Also fun. But this year I want to check off some other things on this list as well as add to it. I know I can do hard things, even if i can't right now I can always work up to it and make it a goal.

I think I'd like to do another 5K this year. I'd also like to do something that I've never done before... maybe Zip-lining or something... I know those things have weight limits. Or maybe I'll challenge myself by joining some kind of fitness-type class.

Anyone got any suggestions on fun physically active activities that I should add to my list?

Day#322: Another Magical Countdown Begins

Today is exactly 100 days from something I'm very very excited about. In exactly 100 days I'll be returning to Walt Disney World! HECK YEAH BABY! :)

100 Days till WDW!... again!

It's crazy to think that in 43 days It'll have been a year since I made the decision to get healthier. Now as a fitting bookend to the first year of my crazy fitness stuff; another trip to the most magical place in the world! I'll even be going back during the same week.



Last year I got to go with My groovy cousin Heather, my uncle Alan and Aunt Grace. This time I get to go with my favorite little sister Kjarsti. We've been planning now for months, now the count down number will officially exit three digits so that makes it reality!

In preparation for this awesomeness I've rededicated myself to my 4 times a week work out schedule.  Today was day one for this week. #sweatyselfie



I'm excited to see just how much farther I can progress before this fun adventure. I fully intend to get one of those "Celebration Buttons" and write in "Lost XX lbs". It's going to happen peeps!

I swear I've read everything I can get my eyeballs on in regards to how to plan a Disney World Trip. Pintrist no longer has a WDW prep article I haven't read or skimmed. I'm officially in information-overload. My sister Kjarsti is probably exhausted with my departing of "wisdom". She just laughs and says... Yes it'll be fun!

Ahhh... Let the anticipation build!

Day#320: An Average Woman

Guess what ladies? Did you know that the average woman in america is actually a size 16 in pants? That's right! Apparently That makes me average now. I'm now in size 16 along with so many other american ladies!

Check out my "Giant Pants" picture. I've always wanted to do one of these!





Perhaps it's not something to be excited about for some people but for me, I couldn't be more thrilled and relieved to find that I'm not alone. Struggling with your weight can really make you feel isolated and damage you're self worth. I know for me it sure did and does. I'm far from where I want to be but I'm excited about where i'm at and how far i've come.

Hurray for being average!

Tim Gunn has our back ladies! Love love this!

Day#316: A New Year - Starting Fresh

Happy New Year! 2017 here we come!

It's been a crazy 10ish months since I started this fitness escapade. I've learned a lot and changed a lot; and not just in the numbers on the scale. I've been thinking these past three days about what I'd want as my new years resolution this year and I really felt that I didn't need a new one, just a rededication to the one that I started in February last year.

Feel Better, Work harder, and Keep Trying.

This applies to so many parts of my life beyond just getting rid of the weight. I've come a far ways from where I was. I've learned just how strong I can be, just how dedicated and how determined. I never really believed I could do it. Change; but I'm starting to see a glimmer in my future, that hope of what and who I always wanted to be.

It's never too late to start trying. Look what can happen if you just give it a shot. Try, fail and try again... It's happened to me over and over. I have a huge weakness for food. The struggle to not reach for food when I'm having a rough day is not something that I'm not always good at. I'm still trying to overcome and move past my coping mechanisms. But ya know? I think that now I have more hope in myself. I can do it. :)

---

Ringing in the new year with the first and last sweatyselfies of the year!



On top of my rededication, I'm going to be trying extra hard to re-dedicate myself to the 4 days a week of working out. Over the holiday months I let things slip to just half that, I can see how my progress suffered. So re-dedicating myself to that as well.

---

A little perspective excercise, to take the blinders off my everyday struggles and remember how I've come, and how much I've grown.

I remember when I couldn't, but now I can...

1. I remember when I couldn't worry enough about what others thought, now I can find the strength to remember few people's opinions actually matter. Particularly when it comes to matters of my weight loss journey. Everyone has opinions; the thing is... that's just what they are. Take or leave um.

2. I remember when I couldn't even do a single push up, now I can do 10-15 in a minute.

3. I remember when I couldn't help feeling discouraged when I went to the doctor, but now I can feel hope for feeling better.

4. I remember when I couldn't stand the idea of working out with people around to stare, but now I can laugh because we're all more concerned with how we look to notice others at the gym. Besides, I've learned that people at the gym are usually just as excited about my progress as I am! Theres power in encouraging others and complementing their progress and determination. I know it always lifts me.

5. I remember when I couldn't see my reflection without feeling angry at how I looked, but now I look and feel joy in how far I've come.

6. I remember when I couldn't harness any willpower at all when it came so to sweets. And now I'm working on it, and finding it easier all the time. Removing the temptation from my home is a huge factor in concurring those cravings.

7. I remember when I couldn't manage working out one day after another because I would be too worn down from the day before... Now I can manage it and even excel.

8. I remember when I hated clothing and getting dressed in the morning was a struggle and an emotionally heavy task. And now I get excited to wear smaller clothing and to see larger garments go.

9. I remember when I couldn't keep promises to myself about health goals, and now I'm managing it. Being accountable to a trainer seriously made all the difference for me!

10. I remember when I couldn't even fathom a time when I would do a 5K or go Rock Climbing. Being overweight and unsure of my abilities and lacking in confidence kept me from trying. But this past year I've done both those things. I can't wait to do more things that challenge me.

---

2017 is a shiny new year - a new opportunity; and I'm excited to make it better than the last year. Here it comes, there's no stopping it so let's do this thing!!!