Day344: Soreness & Tears

Today is Tuesday, which means it's Personal Trainer day. It was also my first day with the new trainer they've assigned me since Thomas left. Her name is Kylee. She's fine... I guess... Maybe.... (insert exasperated sigh).

78 Days till WDW2.0

I'm feeling frustrated. And perhaps that's because I've been spoiled by trainers that have really believed in me and pushed me... but still I'm jaded that I'm now on trainer number 4 for the last three weeks before my contract is up. I'm ready to push myself and really show myself what I'm capable of.

So needless to say I'm sore. I've been sore in my legs particularly since Saturday... but still, able to work out... but apparently It was a mistake to tell my new trainer my new adventure into CrossFit. I need support, and she definitely did not give off the vibe that she was going to be supportive. Her first words were... "OH... You're brave." (with a sour-ish kind of look I might add)

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but come on!!! I'm paying them... and with my last six sessions they should be about my needs, and NO, I don't want to spend half or more of those in an hour long group session... I'll be getting enough of that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday thank you very much! So having that shoved down my throat over and over is not something I appreciate.

I don't know what to do, and she kept pestering me through the work out... what do you want, how can I help... what nutrition plans can I help you with... these are all good questions that if I were to have a trainer for more than a total of five more visits it might be worth getting into. But I'm feeling defeated by my feelings here... I didn't know what I wanted from her, and I still don't. I want to be done with it and move on... but I want to get what I paid for. It's a fine line of not caring, and caring.

When put on the spot, particularly when I'm emotional and had a hard day at work too... surmounting emotions collide and I can't pinpoint why I'm upset. Such was the case with Kylee today. I started to loose my cool under these loaded questions; and I cried a bit while biting back bitter nonconstructive words. Then was lectured at because of the pause and lack of a satisfying answer.

Now i've promised to come on Thursday and tell her what I want from working out with her. And right now I don't know what that is... Sigh! What do I want...?

#sweatyselfie



Guess I have another day to really figure that out... Tomorrow is CrossFit again.