I'm freaking out, and making myself anxious. I want DisneyWorld to be awesome, and I want to feel better and get better. Working out has been hard and good at the same time. But then I get emails from my doctor which are super overwhelming reminding me of all the stuff that she's expecting of me. I don't know how to deal with it sometimes; I can handle small steps, but thinking of all the things I should be doing, I feel super inadequate and it makes me want to quit.
Today I cheated and ate cookies... I immediately felt guilt, and the subsequent achyness from eating the sugar. No I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. Truth. Somehow I just have to keep reminding myself that I can do it... It's hard when I feel discouraged to move past it. I fall into funks far too easy.
Nobody hates on me as effectively as I can hate on myself.
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Feeling frustrated;
Tomorrow is a new day, I get to try out my Fitbit for the first time at the gym. See how that goes. I was actually surprised just at how much I walked around today considering that I didn't do much! Guess that's a good sign, I'm more active than I thought at the get go.
I hope to discuss my meds making me feel sick with my doctor tomorrow to see if I can't determine how to improve that situation. If the medications are making me feel worse instead of better, that seems to be counterproductive... I'll let you guys know how that goes, as long as I can remember to call before their office closes.
Tomorrow is Monday. (Deep Breath) A new day to get this thing back on track.
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(Check out the cool peeps that came to watch #LDSConf with me!)
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