Throwback Recap #1 - Goodbye Pesky GullBladder, Your Fired!

It's been a whole lot of crazy going on in Elyse-Town... Holy Cow!



Life's sure got a funny way of seeming like it's kicking you when you're already down... you know? What it does is cause you to learn a lot about yourself... or more specifically more about the ways I'm still struggling to be better, all those things I need to learn to grow... there are so many things!

Here Follows The Tale of the Unhappy Tummy Part2:

Almost a month to the day ago I checked myself into the ER because of my good old friend Stomach Pain. This time was bad... though Im convinced it wasn't as bad as back in November when I went to the ER last time for the same pain. So like the silly stubborn woman I am, I decided to tuff it out because there was no way I was going to fork over money to the ER for them to tell me there was nothing wrong with me.

But the pain didn't get better. After almost a week I pushed through the pain and then when it became clear that it wasn't getting better... I came to this conclusion from the fact I was turning yellow.. That's right! YELLOW! Scared the crap out of me. My doctor appointment on the following Monday proved I wasn't delusional - my doctor suspected Pancreatitis.

Again I was stubborn and went home and tried to drink/drown out the yellowing... It didn't work.

Now my second visit to the ER in a year was a much better experience than my last one. They were very kind and listened to me and I felt heard. We did tests and discovered that I indeed had Pancreatitis - Caused by Gallstones.

The word the doctors used was "Innumerable" when describing the amount of stones in my gallbladder. It had to come out. I would only have more and more Stones and Pain... so came my hospital stay. My very first one.

Also my fist Surgery... That was a strange experience. Wheeled me down to the operating room, I moved over to the table and laid down. The anesthesiologist hooked me up and gave me what he called a "Small starter dose". He then asked me a question... I don't remember what it was. I think I was going to say something in response but before i could answer i was out.

When I woke up, I was in the ICU and the crabby nurse kept telling me to take deep breaths. I wanted to hurt her... I was trying to and she was not pleased with my breathing. I assume she wanted my heart rate to be faster than it was. As discovered at my last ER visit, I have a low resting heart rate... she wasn't informed so she wasn't satisfied with my breathing. RUDE!

After this I was taken back to my room where my sweet sister Kjarsti was waiting. She was so awesome to stay with me, and help me, and make me feel loved. I'm so blessed to have such great sisters.

I got this nifty button while at the hospital... All the nifty things at hospitals glow - just so you know ;) I called it "The Hulk Button" because that's what gave me the drugs. I pride myself on the fact that I didn't push it hardly at all.



So GullBladder's gone. Thank goodness. I'm so glad, because now I finally have an answer to the pain I had had back in November. According to my doctor, he was certain that I had passed a stone back in November, However this time the gallstone had gotten stuck in my bile duct... this is why I had turned Yellow this time around. I'm so grateful for medicine and good doctors.



Awkward Yetti does a good job illustrating my situation... lol! Particularly this next one.



So I can't lift anything "Heavy" for another month. Which means no CrossFit for now. But I do plan on getting back to it at some point. Probably after Italy.

That's right... Italy is still happening. Happening in just 31 Days. Ahhh! From one crazy experience to the next. Am I right? Bring it on!

Now I join an exclusive club of people who've had their gallbladder removed. Everyone reacts differently to getting their gallbladder out, and so far I feel alright. I can even eat dairy again. It's a miracle! I'm so glad. I even had a celebratory slice of Cheesecake for my birthday and didn't get sick. Yay!!!!

Now I just have to get back to my fitness journey, I've let myself get derailed and I've fallen into some binge eating pits... I know better and am trying to be better. I know I can do this, so it's time to buck up and get accountable. That starts with little by little, day by day. I can do hard things. :)

CrossFit Challenge Completed!

Well I did it! Done; Seven whole weeks of CrossFit under my now looser belt! :)

When I decided to do this, it was terrifying, and now it's slightly less terrifying. Each day I went I wasn't sure what I could do. How I could make this work for me without hurting myself? But as I got into the rhythm of things and learned all these new workouts I grew more confident that I could handle things as they came. And now here at the finish line I'm pretty proud of the progress I've made in CrossFit.

33 Days Till WDW2.0

The results are in... Before/After CrossFit:


I'm not sure that the photo really does justice to the changes I can see in myself. My thighs have really toned up... shrinking up my waist and hips. I've also noticed that my midsection seems to be getting tighter which is super exciting (that's where I want to see the change the most! Which of corse means its the last place I shed it.)

Measurements:

Total Weight: - 15lbs
Body Fat%: - 7.6% (side note; Now I have more muscle than fat! I've crossed the threshold!)
Shoulders: - 2.4 inches
Chest: -  2.7 inches
Waist: - 3.5 inches (I'm in a size 14 pants now!)
Hips: - 1.25 inches
Thighs: -1.5 inches

Side Comparisons are fun too, but I don't have one from before CrossFit, but this is from December to now...


And this one; I'm really proud of my strength progress in my arms!

Dec 28th / March 17th (yes the face is necessary!)


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What do I think of CrossFit?

CrossFit is Hard. And it's been hard on my Knees and Hips, But Golly how I've grown stronger and more sure of myself and my capabilities by doing it. I can honestly say I do love it. CrossFit is intense - I like that. CrossFit is Olympic Lifting - and I like most of that. CrossFit Demands a lot of you, and expects you to push yourself - I like that expectation and striving to surpass myself. CrossFit is Structured - I need that and appreciate that about it. CrossFit is a community of crazies, some of the nicest people I've meet, all who really care and encourage me every day. CrossFit was a great Experience for me. It hasn't seen the last of me thats for sure!

What did I learn?

Silly as it seems, I learned to listen to my body more. I thought I had gotten good at knowing my limits before CrossFit, but once I started I became acutely aware of just how much I had to pay attention to what i'm feeling. Both to keep myself from over-extending my abilities but also not to hurt myself.

I also learned that even if something seems harder than I can do, that it doesn't mean that it'll always be too hard! Movements that I couldn't do two months ago I can now. Today I bench pressed almost 80 lbs!!! That's Huge for me! I couldn't do sit-ups, but now I can do them confidently and with a fair amount of gusto. Nothing is out of reach for long if you keep at it! Heck... I've lost 70 lbs... I never thought that was within my reach a year ago!

What am I doing next?

I'm still not sure. Honestly I'd love to keep doing CrossFit; but knowing my body and trying to respect the strain i've put on my knees and hips, I'm going to step that back for now and try something new. I've rolled around a few ideas in my head; taking a cycling class or a swim class... Maybe taking up another personal trainer if I can find the right one.

With so much coming up I've got to keep pushing myself so that I don't backslide though. I'm on the search for my next thing, if anyone has suggestions I'm open to them! <3 Thanks.

Add a Bonus Week, and Needles too!

So last week was supposed to be the last week of CrossFit. But following the fact that nobody got measured like they were supposed to... the Coaches gave every lady in the 6 week challenge group an extra week free. So six weeks of CrossFit will now be Seven!

37 Days Till WDW2.0

So last week I decided to go full out, and make every single day of my last week count... So I made the goal to go every day that week; and I did! I felt very proud of the fact that I got through something so challenging. I just didn't realize how harsh it was going to be on my knees. I pulled back (or so I thought) but apparently not enough... I can't help it I'm competitive as heck; even when the only person i'm competing with is my unrealistic expectation of myself.

#sweatyselfie (selfies at crossfit! super sweaty!)

After an entire week of crazy CrossFit and lots of Lunges and Squats my knees were in lots of pain over the weekend... Lucky for me, I had a chiropractor appointment this morning. FYI, my Chiropractor hates... I repeat hates that I'm doing CrossFit. He'd rather I do any other kind of working out. He's a really nice though, I like that he cares so much.

Anyway, after my adjustment he suggested that we try acupuncture for my knee pain. Anyone that knows me, knows that I hate needles (almost as much as I hate spiders... almost.) Granted my ability to deal with needles over time has increased out of shear i-gotta-be-an-adult kind of way. But still the idea of having needles stuck into me isn't the most appealing thing in the world.

But I was in a lot of discomfort and thought that I'd give it a go. I mean, what could it hurt right?

It was uncomfortable, I couldn't move, and I so wish i'd relaxed more before he put the needles in... There was definite discomfort, but my knees were really inflamed so I suppose I should have expected it... I've got to say though, That i'm impressed. I feel like it actually worked! After it was over I stood up and I'm pretty sure could feel a difference. I really do think so! So maybe this hokey chiropractor isn't so hokey after all. Who knows? I seem to be at the point of trying things that I might not have considered doing before; add acupuncture to the list.

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So... I wore my blue dress to work today, did my hair and felt pretty good. It's funny how people at work freak out when I wear a dress! It's like they think the same thing, no matter what... That i've got an interview and that's the only reason i could have to be looking so awesome! PSHhha! Nah, I just look good because i'm feeling good. :)



Thanks for all the nice things everyone has said about my new Facebook profile pic. I figured it was about time to change it since my face looks so different! Yay! Bonus because i felt pretty today. Thanks for the love and support, it means the world to me really!

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125 Days till Italy! Woot! Passport is officially off and pending approval. Fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong. Airline Tickets are booked and this thing is happening! I couldn't be more excited or nervous. What an adventure! Ahh!

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Busy Busy me... Work has me going crazy. I've been put in charge of art directing this massive catalog, and coordinating among a lot of departments is stressful and not nearly as easy as putting together the past Pet catalogs that i've done. But I'm hoping that things turn out good and that I can ensure a great catalog! Being in charge causes me stress, I'm trying not to stress as much and to enjoy it. I can still learn new things... but golly it makes me miss Holly Pocket! I miss my old work friends. Sigh!

Onward and upward... every day is another chance to do my best, and forget the rest. Got to learn I can't control everything... and that sometimes I have to be kinder to myself when i'm not at my very best, perfection isn't obtainable even though I have the habit of beating myself up for not being perfect. <3 Heaven have patience with me lol ;)

Nearing the CrossFit Finish...

So, Here I am, in the trenches of the last week of my CrossFit adventure! Wow! It's getting down to it now. Only half a week left and my 6 week challenge will be over. It's time to make a decision, do I want to keep doing CrossFit after this or not? Tough question...

42 Days till WDW2.0

#sweatycrossfitselfie



It's my personal goal this week to attend CrossFit every single day. So far I'm on track to do just that. Final weigh in will happen Saturday morning on my last work out of the challenge. Over the last two weeks of the challenge we've been able to come to as many classes as we want, not just the previous assigned days and times... and i kinda had to slack off a bit last week because I had my wisdom tooth pulled, Ouch!

Following that I'm renewing my determination and it's going to pay off if I have anything to do with it ;) I'll do a sum-up type post of my CrossFit experience once i've gotten that last work out in. Once I've decided how if I'm going to stick with it or try something new.

I think just being active and accountable will ultimately keep me on track with my new fitness lifestyle and goals; that, and not over eating... even over eating healthy food can still set me back (bummer I know!)

More #sweatyselfies


On my last week, Week#6.



Biggest Ouches from CrossFit: Bruises, Knees, and Hips.
Biggest Wins: Confidence, Drive, Community, Accountability... and with any luck WeightLoss ;)

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Stuff happens in waves, not trickles of gentle rain showers... So much is happening this summer, so many things that I'm excited about:

- I've got some big Projects at work (both exciting and scary)
- I've got my Walt Disney World trip in April.
- My sister Melisa is getting married, and I'm Maid of Honor! So much to plan, so much to do before the big day in May!
- Italy in July. I've just got Plane tickets booked, and my passport application will be sent out by the end of the week -I've got lots to do to get ready for this exciting trip.

It's going to be an exciting summer... I think its going to keep my busy and happy. I'm taking life by the drainpipes and swallowing every wave of crazy! (that metaphor.... oh dear, lol...)

Just Keep Swimming Right?!

The Mysterious Case Of The Tilted Girl

Crazy things have been happening this past week! I have this list of all the things that I need to do before I go to Disney World, among them was visit the chiropractor about my hip and knee pain...

49 Days Till WDW2.0

#sweatyselfie



So I found a local chiropractor that has good reviews online and made an appointment. I consider it very adult of me that I can now make appointments at the doctor, the dentist and other such adult places without the panic that used to accompany these activities. I'm becoming immune... more adult. AHHHHHhhhhh!!!

Met with Doctor Giles, and he was nothing but nice. He listened to my concerns and my explanation about how i've been having a hard time with knee and hip pain for a long time now. Working out has been a struggle with the localized pain i'd have to work around. Curse you squats and lunges!!!

So he assessed and confirmed my suspicion, I'm tilted. Or more accurately, my pelvis is. My right hip sits higher than my left, causing uneven distribution of weight when I walk, run or work out... If it was much worse he said it would be considered scoliosis. :O SAYWHAT?!

Just this last Monday he fitted me with custom shaped Orthotics (special fitted inserts for my shoes, meant to correct my gait and weight distribution). Next week he'll add the lift in one side to even out my tilt. Until then i've been wearing these inserts (for three days now) and I'm feeling mixed feelings about them. But mostly positive feelings.

#weirdsensations



They don't fit in every shoe the same, but they DO fit in my workout shoes sublimely! I think I can really feel a difference in how my weight is distributed. Still having the knee and hip pain, but I'm hopeful that it'll get better as I work on things.

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CrossFit continues in a blur. I can't believe that i'm nearly on my last week of the six week challenge. It's really flown by. On top of that I'm loving it. It's challenging, but rewarding... and the structure of intense work outs is really satisfying, I love knowing that planning has gone into the classes I attend. Structure and Community make CrossFit really wonderful. I love the ladies that I work out with; and now that they've put us in the regular classes with all the other cross-fitters... it's even more intense than before.

I'm feeling pretty stoked about my progress with every completed work out! I've even gone to CrossFit all three days this week so far! Crazy Sauce!

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I've discovered a breakthrough for me... Shopping! without fail, once i'm at the store i'm easily tempted to buy stuff that I shouldn't... and once something i shouldn't eat is in my apartment cupboards I'm doomed to eat it and receive the guilt. But perhaps I've now stumbled upon a something that might help me out there.

#healthyshopping



Tuesday right after CrossFit I headed to the store to pick up groceries. Doing this activity following my workout really helped me be chipper and have more self control. I didn't buy anything i shouldn't have, and then I even prepped meals for later that night without snacking. This is HUGE! going to they store hungry or emotional spells disaster for me, but going after working out when i'm full of self confidence and a sense of accomplishment really curbs my desire to mess it up.

Staying Strong! Yay!

1 Year, 365 Days, & 70 LBS!!!

I've come full circle - rotated around the sun for a complete rotation and slimmed down by 70 LBS in the process. Taking a look back... What a year!!!



I can't hardly believe it, one year ago today, I walked into a gym for the first time and had my very first work out. Stepped on the scale 70 lbs heavier than I am today. I'm feeling so completely blessed. I wasn't sure when I started if I would be able to do it, my goals seemed unachievable and yet, I'm so so proud of how far I've come even if I'm 30 lbs shy of that 100 lbs goal!

I've made such huge strides, not only in weight loss but in a lot of areas in my life! I can honestly say I'm so much more confident, outgoing, and sure of myself than I ever have been. I have let go of a lot of self hate and that was probably the hardest part of the year.

There are so many excuses i've made for myself in the past in regards to getting healthier... and really it's not a magic formula. It's just effort! Any amount of effort is progress! When I started I couldn't even do a single push up, or even sit from a chair to a stand without using my hands to push me up.

I feel like a new person, and I don't ever want to go back to feeling how I felt! The slow progress, although it's slow is so much more worth it than the way I was living before. :)



4/6 Weeks down & 7 Sessions of CrossFit to go!

I'm over half way through my 6 week CrossFit Challenge now. Golly it's hard, but boy do I love it! It's challenging but very rewarding. It's caused me tp push myself further than just plain personal training sessions ever did. It's certainly been the right "Next Step" in my fitness Journey. I still have to decide what do do after CrossFit is over. I know I need accountability to be successful. I'm contemplating keeping up with CrossFit, or taking some other classes to just keep trying new things.

#sweatyselfie


Seeing my first selfie and my most recent... I really do look different... I'm sweatier! lol!


Rock Climbing is Awesome!

It started as me trying something new, something that I never thought I could do because I was overweight. And now, I'm addicted to the feeling I have after rock climbing! It's a level of energy and self achievement that I've not gotten with other things. It's really fun to problem solve, climb, and push myself and see how far I can go. This year, I want to do some actual rock climbing outside of the gym! Take this thing to the next level, and continuing to up my rock climbing game.

55 Days Till Walt Disney World 2.0

The most beautiful bookend to a challenging year of fitness. This year started with WDW, and now I will cap off the other end nicely with another trip back. Taking a trip to the most magical place in the world while i'm in the best shape i've eve been in my life is going to be amazing! On top of that I get to go with my sister Kjarsti. I'm so excited I can't hardly stand it! The wait is killing me! Ahhhhh! :D

143 Days Till Italy!!! (Venice/Florence/Rome)

Yeah, that's happening! Woot! A few weeks ago I was asked by my grandma if i'd like to attend a historical/genealogical trip to Holland in July. I declined, not sure I was willing to put the money into a trip like that at the time. But following that discussion I attended a wedding reception for my cousin Emily. There I met up with my Uncle Joseph and we got to talking about that Holland Trip. He told me that he and my Aunt Dawnelle were going to stay a couple weeks after that trip and tour Italy! I was like "FOR REALZ?"... Anyway... long story short, I'm going to be going with them on this trip and doing something I've always dreamed of doing. My artsy nerd heart rejoices! Queue another countdown! Huzzah!

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I'm excited for this year, Although it's bound to have it's own set of challenges I'm more confident i'll be able to handle them.

!!!Shout Out!!! I can't say thanks enough for my cheering section! My friends, family, and particularly my sisters! I've never felt such an immense outpouring of support as I have this past year. People have really rooted for me and there were days that I couldn't have done it without you guys! Knowing that someone was cheering for me - that matters a ton when you're feeling defeated and lousy!

Today I'm: 70 LBS lighter, Getting a handle on my Diabetes, In size 14 jeans, and I'm loving life. Here's to a new year, new adventures, and new challenges! Bring it on!

Day#357: Two Weeks Down and Bruises

So, That's the word on the street... I've officially completed two weeks of my 6 week CrossFit challenge. it's hard to believe it! That means that I'm 1/3 of the way through it already. Crazy!

65 Days til WDW2.0

#crossfit #twoweeksdown


Wowie, I'll tell you that Friday Last week was an intense work out, and I thought it was the hardest to date, it certainly was the most damaging... I got seriously bruised doing Hang Cleans like this:

This guy does them really fast and with more weight than I did, but... the movement is the same. Every time it rested on my shoulders like it does at the top peak of the movement, it created some ouchy bruising. I was so sore over the weekend I decided to forgo my planned rock climbing excursion. I'm glad I did... I was THAT sore!

Matching set of shoulder bruises... my Coach Mandy says they're called "Bar Hickies" - Well i've never had a hickie before... and not sure I want them again. lol ;)

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Today's workout was tough.

The first day of CrossFit so far that I've been so grateful that tears are so well masked by sweating... my knees and hips were not happy. I need to work on getting better flexibility in my hips and strengthening the muscles around my knees so that I can do these workouts at the level of intensity that they keep building to each day.

Squats are the biggest culprit of my pain, someday when i'm better able to do them and in higher reps, I'll forgive them for their meanness towards me... BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!

But I survived... and for that I'm glad! :) #sweatyselfie

Day#352: My Legs Are Jello

Well I'll say this for CrossFit days with Beau, I don't leave thinking I can handle things... It's certainly a challenge!

70 Days Till WDW2.0 HUZZAH!

Wednesday is a CrossFit day, and the work day leading up to the work out was stressful, I needed to blow some steam. ON top of that I feel like food and I are having a bad argument... Food no longer calls, it won't talk to me anymore, it makes faces at me when I visit it at the grocery store...! Stupid Food! Our relationship sure has suffered since CrossFit entered the picture ;) lol

Nah... But seriously, the Diet that comes with the CrossFit Challenge is tough. On top of that I'm trying to manage things with my Diabetes, so that alters the diet plan as well. So far I've just tried to mush my old diet with this new one, adjusting where I can to make sure that my glucose levels stay where they need to be. If they aren't high enough when I go work out I feel shaky and awful afterwards... kinda like today. Oops.

Big mistake... I had a late lunch of Grilled Chicken, Baby Carrots, and a couple strawberries... but it wasn't enough carbs to last me through workout. I felt the crash, and the fact that Beau is crazy intense only made things more evident.

That Guy really pushes us, Which is totally awesome. I just need to be better prepared for workouts with him by making sure my blood sugar is high enough before the work out so that I don't pass out or anything crazy like that. Still learning how to balance things! (just in case you were worried... no I haven't passed out ;) )

#sweatyselfie #crossfit


Monday - CrossFit with Mandy (sore muscles of the day... Shoulders and Abs)


Tuesday - Personal Trainer day with Kylee (we did lunges... my poor legs are so stiff!)


Wednesday - CrossFit with Beau (All of me hurts... especially my legs and some arms)

Okay... Truth is that this is challenging. But I'm LOVING IT! I didn't know if I would but I do. I feel so proud of every work out I accomplish and of every small victory of simply going and doing my best.

I think a major thing I've been learning is to have patience with myself. I want it all to happen fast and right now. But change isn't like that... But then messing up doesn't derail things either... both are gradual. One day here or a bad day there... these things are all recoverable if I just keep trying and starting over. Forgiving myself for making mistakes on this journey of fitness is hard but golly I've got to keep trying. Nothing changes in just one day, but it all gets better the longer I keep trying.

Forgivness... and perspective! I'm almost to my next milestone; and i'm the most fit I've ever been. I feel good. What a crazy thing to realize! I'm blessed for sure.

Day#347: CrossFit Week1 Completed

Well I did it folks! I successfully completed the first week of CrossFit! I totally did, I've amazed even in myself. I've worked out every single day this week. Take that, you stupid weight loss slump! HA!

75 Days till WDW2.0 - That's 1/4 of the way! WOOT!

So, Took my "Before" Picture for the 6 week CrossFit Challenge. Here I am in all my plushy glory!



It'll be cool to see the changes in just 6 weeks. Feeling excited and hopeful. I can already tell that my legs are going to be rock solid! SO MUCH SQUATTING! (sobs in the corner)... so much...

So Recap!?

Wednesday:
CrossFit with coach Beau (he's so freaking intense!) We did a lot of varied things. But the worst was the squatting wall ball tosses... Ouch. These were brutal, had to toss a ball at the wall to a target, and then as the ball comes down, catch it in a squat. Each movement flowing into the next squat. So hard!

We also did: burpies, planks, single arm overhead press, deadlift bar raises (I think that's what they are called), Box jumps, and rows and sit ups.

Thursday:
Personal Trainer Day with Kylee. Realized why I've been emotional and why Tuesday was just that much harder when I discovered my monthly visitor had stopped by... Golly it's great to be a girl! So Thursday we did a work out: Planks, Squats, Single leg deadlifts, pushups, anti rotations, and TRX Rows. It wasn't super intense but IT FELT IT... my legs were still so sore from those Wall-Ball-Squats-of-Death.

She didn't ask about the follow up questions from last time... but I'm kind of okay with that. I now have an answer to give her... And I'll discuss it with her next week.

Then did 45 Minutes of walking.

Friday:
TGoodnessIF Peeps! I need a weekend to just bring things down a notch from this loaded and stressful week. CrossFit Day today, marking the last workout of the week since I've started HOLLA! Oh yeah, I'm so jazzed. One Week down like a BOSS!

#sweatyselfie #oneweekdown



Today with did some Olympic lifting... Yeah! (exactly what you're thinking!) Overhead Snap Raises.
This is the video that the Coach Mandy, posted to get us "Pumped". (It only managed to get me anxious to be honest.)

So Yeah... I did that but with wimpy weight! (50lbs) ;) Got to get technique down so that when we start adding weight I don't hurt myself. And I need all the practice I can get :)

We also did Rows, Burpies, Box Jumps, Bear Crawls (But I couldn't do these correctly yet, they really hurt my knees bad!) So... Lunges for me, and Goblet Squats.

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I'll tell you what, CrossFit is no joke! But golly I'm so excited that I'm doing something challenging! If only to just push myself to see what I can do. :) As my coworker said today when I told him about my new CrossFit Challenge... "You're so close to getting all your "Stuff" together." Ha! Hows that for support? Golly I hope so! ;)

Good to know I've got a couple friends at work still who cheer me on and support me. After all - When you hit rock bottom, only one way to go, and that's up! Happy weekend everyone!

Day344: Soreness & Tears

Today is Tuesday, which means it's Personal Trainer day. It was also my first day with the new trainer they've assigned me since Thomas left. Her name is Kylee. She's fine... I guess... Maybe.... (insert exasperated sigh).

78 Days till WDW2.0

I'm feeling frustrated. And perhaps that's because I've been spoiled by trainers that have really believed in me and pushed me... but still I'm jaded that I'm now on trainer number 4 for the last three weeks before my contract is up. I'm ready to push myself and really show myself what I'm capable of.

So needless to say I'm sore. I've been sore in my legs particularly since Saturday... but still, able to work out... but apparently It was a mistake to tell my new trainer my new adventure into CrossFit. I need support, and she definitely did not give off the vibe that she was going to be supportive. Her first words were... "OH... You're brave." (with a sour-ish kind of look I might add)

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but come on!!! I'm paying them... and with my last six sessions they should be about my needs, and NO, I don't want to spend half or more of those in an hour long group session... I'll be getting enough of that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday thank you very much! So having that shoved down my throat over and over is not something I appreciate.

I don't know what to do, and she kept pestering me through the work out... what do you want, how can I help... what nutrition plans can I help you with... these are all good questions that if I were to have a trainer for more than a total of five more visits it might be worth getting into. But I'm feeling defeated by my feelings here... I didn't know what I wanted from her, and I still don't. I want to be done with it and move on... but I want to get what I paid for. It's a fine line of not caring, and caring.

When put on the spot, particularly when I'm emotional and had a hard day at work too... surmounting emotions collide and I can't pinpoint why I'm upset. Such was the case with Kylee today. I started to loose my cool under these loaded questions; and I cried a bit while biting back bitter nonconstructive words. Then was lectured at because of the pause and lack of a satisfying answer.

Now i've promised to come on Thursday and tell her what I want from working out with her. And right now I don't know what that is... Sigh! What do I want...?

#sweatyselfie



Guess I have another day to really figure that out... Tomorrow is CrossFit again.

Day#343: CrossFit Day One

So just this last Saturday afternoon I posted a video on Facebook about my impending craziness... I've joined a 6 week CrossFit Challenge. It's an all Ladies group, and all of us are in various places in our fitness goals... some peeps have even done challenges like this in the past (those pros making the rest of us look bad ;) )

CrossFit, as I understand it; is a combination of olympic weight training, combined with "Functional" strength training. Functional meaning - they do work outs that target the kinds of muscles you use for regular life, and build them specifically. All this is done with a huge amount of intensity - Lots of repetitions in short bursts to really tax you.

I attest, it's taxing for sure!

79 Days till WDW2.0

So I've been working out for nearly a year, and felt I needed to step up my game, or as I told Mandy one of the CrossFit coaches today, to "put the fear back in me" on my fitness journey. This is a super accurate description. I am scared and full of nerves about it. CrossFit is going to be very challenging. Particularly given the fact that I still have Personal Trainer through Vasa for another 3 weeks.

That means that for the next three weeks my life will pretty much look like this:

Monday: CrossFit
Tuesday: Personal Trainer
Wednesday: CrossFit
Thursday: Personal Trainer
Friday: CrossFit
Saturday: Optional (but highly encouraged) Cardio CrossFit
Sunday: Rest Day.

I'm not sure what I was thinking... but I've sure set myself up for some crazy weeks ahead. Not sure if I'll renew the trainer once my year concludes, I think I'll wait and see how much I love or hate CrossFit after the Challenge is over at the End of March.

On top of this insane workout schedule I have a new diet plan that goes along with the CrossFit Challenge that I have to adhere to. So with my diabetes it'll be interesting to see how I can make the meals work and still have level blood sugars... But I think I can do it, Having grown more familiar with my body and how it reacts to food I've gotten better at spotting how to deal with low or high levels as they hit me.

Here's a pic from today's work out; the "Official" first work out of the challenge.



Calling it the first work out, when the work out on Saturday was supposed to be an "Orientation" is mean. Because to be honest... Saturday's work out killed - call it more of a hazing. I have been sore all weekend - the only relief I've really felt has come from working out again today and doing lots of foam rolling. (Heaven Bless my Burnt Tootsie Roll!)

These ladies are super nice, and everyone is very supportive. I can see why the community aspect of CrossFit is so appealing. It's nice to have company when you're miserable... then you know they can understand you're pain... really understand it ;) Misery does indeed love company. Haha!

So... Crossfit Summery of Day1:

Today's work out was 2 parts... the first was a Workout of the Day: it consisted of sumo barbell deadlifts followed by hip bridges. I lifted 95lbs total on those barbell lifts! Crazy Sauce!

Second Part was three sets of 6 minute high intensity workouts, with two movements in each repeated 3 times. Then we'd get a 2 minute break between these intense 6 minutes.

First we did Rows and Mountain Climbers (Do not like these, they hurt my knees).
Second we did Russian KettleBell Thrusts, and sit-ups.
Last we ran 200 meters, and then did Russian twists.

After all this, I was pooped... but so stinking grateful that we didn't do any squats because my legs are  still sore from "Orientation."

Overall, I'm feeling good right now post work out. Feeling very proud of myself and glad that I'm trying this new and challenging experience. Who knows what I can accomplish, but I can't wait to find out! :)

Day#339: Goodbyes Again

Today I had my last training session with my trainer Thomas. Dang it sucks to see another trainer go, just when I felt like I was getting used to his style of training. What's worse is that I don't even know who my trainer will be after this... (bites nails nervously to nubbins).

83 Days till WDW2.0

I'm almost at my year mark since I started working out, and in that time I've now had 3 trainers. Each of them have taught me a lot and added something new to my work out experience that I'm grateful I've had. I've got my fingers crossed that whoever is next really helps me amp up my game and pushes me even further just like Thomas did, and Tyler before him, and Kendra before that.

Here's Thomas and I with a post workout #sweatyselfie - I really am going to miss this guy!



How appropriate that we should make muscles for the camera (his idea by the way), since he's the trainer that I feel I've gained the most muscle with. I mean WOW! That gun show is impressive (shifty eyes...) lol.



I suppose I'll just have to move on somehow ;) Here's to the next leg of the journey.

Day#333: Set Backs Suck

Today i'm trying to do my best to accept it. I've gotten to a wall... a huge set back in my progress and I'm not very happy with myself for it. Queue the guilt montage and tears. That's right... I to am human.

89 days till WDW2.0

So It's been coming on for awhile now, but it's hold seems to be iron tight now. My weight loss progress has stalled; or to put it more realistically... I've gained a depressing step back of 5 lbs. Somewhere between my sickly holidays and my getting back in the swing of it couple of weeks something happened... I stopped making progress.

Practically flat lined :(

Plateaus happen according to more educated people than me. But that doesn't stop them from being discouraging. In fact it makes every ounce creeping in the wrong direction a massive bummer. I'm not sure entirely why things have stopped moving. I've been keeping up with my good diet (aside from the occasional error), and working out has actually increased since the new year started.

According to the many things i've been googling the last few weeks... there are many reasons that these things happen:

I could just be no longer eating at the calorie intake that is appropriate for my weight loss to continue. This sucks, because I already have a hard time with where my limit is currently, adjusting it with taking my diabetes into account is something that worries me since keeping a even blood sugar level can be tricky, it can easily sway one way or the other and make me feel sick.

It could be that I've gotten too much in a rut with my work out. My body is used to the work outs that I've been doing. Although this is good for building muscles in specific areas, this does not keep my body challenged and hence the weight isn't coming off the same way as it was. Thomas is a good trainer and a great Guy, and I do like seeing defined muscle... but I don't know if I like that as much as seeing the numbers go down on the scale.

It could be related to my thyroid issues. I honestly don't know here... I feel so uninformed about how my low thyroid actually is hindering my ability to loose weight, but now that I've gotten my blood sugars under control I would have expected to actually feel a difference in the meds I'm taking. Sigh... Guess It's time to talk to my doctor again.

I suppose it all can't be rainbows and weight loss, got to get kicked down to reality every so often to appreciate things.

Now I just have to decide what things I'm going to alter about my current lifestyle to get back to that wanted weight loss... I'm starting with diet.

#sweatyselfie #workingoutonafriday



Got to keep doing my best and forgetting the rest, I can only control so much right? Here's hoping that I can get back to where I was and on to where I want to be. :)

Day#330: Just my luck... Again.

It's a Tuesday, a tricksier Tuesday to be exact, because fate has dealt me an odd one that's for sure. Try as I might I keep seeming to scare off these unsuspecting trainers... In my own defense I did tell Thomas when he started that I was cursed.

92 Days till WDW2.0

Yup, Today Thomas informed me that Vasa was relocating him, just like the did with Tyler. He's off to be a whole bunch of other people's new trainer and I have to get a new one. :( major frown face here!

I'm starting to get annoyed... I mean come on? that's 4 trainers in the corse of a year? That's ridiculous! RIDICULOUS I SAY!

Sigh...

I guess I can't keep them around, It sucks but there it is. With how much I'm paying to have a personal trainer you would think they would make an effort to keep you with the same one right? Apparently not. I'm incredibly miffed.

I'll do my best to take it in stride and hope that a new trainer is a blessing in disguise. I was starting to feel frustrated with my lack of progress. So... maybe history will prove this to be a stroke of good luck. but for now my history book has this event recorded as a miss.

#sweatyselfie



In other news... I went to see my grandma this last Sunday and caught a glimpse of something amazing and magical! Behold!





THIS RADICAL SWEATER! Oh yeah! Check it out in all it's 90's glory! seriously the coolest sweater ever with it's lurid colors and outrageous print... Not to mention the wonderful built in turtle neck this sweater has it all!

I think I'm like 7ish in these pictures... I was so stinking cute once!

I'm thinking of re-creating it as a tee shirt design. I could rock that again in 2017 right? lol!

Day#325: The Human Snow Cone Syndrome

I did it, I worked out every day this week so far, that means I'm 4/4 for my goal this week! AwwwYeah! Yesterday was a hard-fight-my-laziness kind of evening, so actually making it in yesterday was a small victory for my week so far!

97 Days till WDW2.0

I seem to find myself having a conversation like this below with people more and more often, and I don't think it's entirely the weather's fault... I'm starting to get suspicious.

Coworker: "Is it a little warm in here?"

Me: "Ummmm... (licks finger and gauges the wind indoors) Maybe?"

Coworker: "I'm a little warm."

Me: "Oh, I'm actually a little cold!" (admitting ashamedly).

Coworker: "Really?!"

Me: "That's just it, I never used to get cold like this!"

I think since i've started loosing weight my body just doesn't retain heat the same way or something... I used to always be running at a hotter temperature than normal people. When people were cold I was fine and when people were hot I was melting (a real human-snow-cone-in-July kind of a thing).

But It's been suggested by a few people in reaction to my new internal temperature phenomenon that that's just because I've lost weight. CAN IT BE??? all these years of just assuming it was genetics and basically that everyone else in the world were wimpy in the cold... It was just me!!!???

Other things that I never did because I would overheat easily was have long hair, wear sweaters... Could I now enjoy these things? Is my world now brighter and more shiny because I'm as wimpy in the cold now like everyone else?

Maybe! ;)

#sweatyselfie A little before and after action for you... Wore my hair down for the first time in forever today for work with some curls... I don't know... Maybe I don't hate long hair after all.



Also... Workout Victory; did measurements today and wasn't nearly as far off track as I thought... However the biggest wow moment was my Hips/Butt measurement. I've lost a whole 1.5 inches baby! WooHoo! Why my butt is shrinking when I want my lovely middle roll to disappear is beyond me - But I'll take what progress I can get!

All my arm measurements also went down, Which is awesome, I'm feeling more and more confident about my arms as things progress. Yay!

I would love to be in a size smaller pants for WDW in April! I'm going to add that to my list of goals. Here's to keeping chugging on forward... ithinkicanithinkicanithinkican... :)

Day#323: To the gym... and Beyond!

Working Hard! Day number two for this week at the gym and it was a good one!

99 Days till WDW2.0

Feeling good - Like I'm getting back on track with my working out. Tuesdays are group work out days, at least until my friend CeJay no longer is paying for personal training. Then who knows who Thomas will put me with then. (shudders)

That's alright though, CeJay says she likes working out with me and that she'd still like to do that once her personal training is all over, so I might have a gym buddy. That'd be new and fun! She's very encouraging and who am I to complain about that right ;)

#sweatyselfie



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Anyone interested in going rock climbing with me? I would love to go at least once a month if not twice, I understand it's not a cheap activity, but golly I promise it'll be fun! Anyone? Anyone?

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Also, remember that list of things I've never done because I felt to fat list? Yeah this one:

- Rock Climbing
- Scuba Diving
- Skydiving
- Water Skiing/Wake Boarding
- Snowboarding or Skiing
- Surfing
- Hiking a Mountain
- Kick Boxing
- Ball Room Dance
- Running (Race)
- Zip-Line

Well last year I got into Rock Climbing Big time! Yay! So much fun! I also did the color run, which was a 5K - Also fun. But this year I want to check off some other things on this list as well as add to it. I know I can do hard things, even if i can't right now I can always work up to it and make it a goal.

I think I'd like to do another 5K this year. I'd also like to do something that I've never done before... maybe Zip-lining or something... I know those things have weight limits. Or maybe I'll challenge myself by joining some kind of fitness-type class.

Anyone got any suggestions on fun physically active activities that I should add to my list?

Day#322: Another Magical Countdown Begins

Today is exactly 100 days from something I'm very very excited about. In exactly 100 days I'll be returning to Walt Disney World! HECK YEAH BABY! :)

100 Days till WDW!... again!

It's crazy to think that in 43 days It'll have been a year since I made the decision to get healthier. Now as a fitting bookend to the first year of my crazy fitness stuff; another trip to the most magical place in the world! I'll even be going back during the same week.



Last year I got to go with My groovy cousin Heather, my uncle Alan and Aunt Grace. This time I get to go with my favorite little sister Kjarsti. We've been planning now for months, now the count down number will officially exit three digits so that makes it reality!

In preparation for this awesomeness I've rededicated myself to my 4 times a week work out schedule.  Today was day one for this week. #sweatyselfie



I'm excited to see just how much farther I can progress before this fun adventure. I fully intend to get one of those "Celebration Buttons" and write in "Lost XX lbs". It's going to happen peeps!

I swear I've read everything I can get my eyeballs on in regards to how to plan a Disney World Trip. Pintrist no longer has a WDW prep article I haven't read or skimmed. I'm officially in information-overload. My sister Kjarsti is probably exhausted with my departing of "wisdom". She just laughs and says... Yes it'll be fun!

Ahhh... Let the anticipation build!

Day#320: An Average Woman

Guess what ladies? Did you know that the average woman in america is actually a size 16 in pants? That's right! Apparently That makes me average now. I'm now in size 16 along with so many other american ladies!

Check out my "Giant Pants" picture. I've always wanted to do one of these!





Perhaps it's not something to be excited about for some people but for me, I couldn't be more thrilled and relieved to find that I'm not alone. Struggling with your weight can really make you feel isolated and damage you're self worth. I know for me it sure did and does. I'm far from where I want to be but I'm excited about where i'm at and how far i've come.

Hurray for being average!

Tim Gunn has our back ladies! Love love this!

Day#316: A New Year - Starting Fresh

Happy New Year! 2017 here we come!

It's been a crazy 10ish months since I started this fitness escapade. I've learned a lot and changed a lot; and not just in the numbers on the scale. I've been thinking these past three days about what I'd want as my new years resolution this year and I really felt that I didn't need a new one, just a rededication to the one that I started in February last year.

Feel Better, Work harder, and Keep Trying.

This applies to so many parts of my life beyond just getting rid of the weight. I've come a far ways from where I was. I've learned just how strong I can be, just how dedicated and how determined. I never really believed I could do it. Change; but I'm starting to see a glimmer in my future, that hope of what and who I always wanted to be.

It's never too late to start trying. Look what can happen if you just give it a shot. Try, fail and try again... It's happened to me over and over. I have a huge weakness for food. The struggle to not reach for food when I'm having a rough day is not something that I'm not always good at. I'm still trying to overcome and move past my coping mechanisms. But ya know? I think that now I have more hope in myself. I can do it. :)

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Ringing in the new year with the first and last sweatyselfies of the year!



On top of my rededication, I'm going to be trying extra hard to re-dedicate myself to the 4 days a week of working out. Over the holiday months I let things slip to just half that, I can see how my progress suffered. So re-dedicating myself to that as well.

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A little perspective excercise, to take the blinders off my everyday struggles and remember how I've come, and how much I've grown.

I remember when I couldn't, but now I can...

1. I remember when I couldn't worry enough about what others thought, now I can find the strength to remember few people's opinions actually matter. Particularly when it comes to matters of my weight loss journey. Everyone has opinions; the thing is... that's just what they are. Take or leave um.

2. I remember when I couldn't even do a single push up, now I can do 10-15 in a minute.

3. I remember when I couldn't help feeling discouraged when I went to the doctor, but now I can feel hope for feeling better.

4. I remember when I couldn't stand the idea of working out with people around to stare, but now I can laugh because we're all more concerned with how we look to notice others at the gym. Besides, I've learned that people at the gym are usually just as excited about my progress as I am! Theres power in encouraging others and complementing their progress and determination. I know it always lifts me.

5. I remember when I couldn't see my reflection without feeling angry at how I looked, but now I look and feel joy in how far I've come.

6. I remember when I couldn't harness any willpower at all when it came so to sweets. And now I'm working on it, and finding it easier all the time. Removing the temptation from my home is a huge factor in concurring those cravings.

7. I remember when I couldn't manage working out one day after another because I would be too worn down from the day before... Now I can manage it and even excel.

8. I remember when I hated clothing and getting dressed in the morning was a struggle and an emotionally heavy task. And now I get excited to wear smaller clothing and to see larger garments go.

9. I remember when I couldn't keep promises to myself about health goals, and now I'm managing it. Being accountable to a trainer seriously made all the difference for me!

10. I remember when I couldn't even fathom a time when I would do a 5K or go Rock Climbing. Being overweight and unsure of my abilities and lacking in confidence kept me from trying. But this past year I've done both those things. I can't wait to do more things that challenge me.

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2017 is a shiny new year - a new opportunity; and I'm excited to make it better than the last year. Here it comes, there's no stopping it so let's do this thing!!!